absorbing
and digesting
and discovering
and recovering
and breathing through
this day following
our final day

it was bittersweet

it was a lot

i think i could have written a better reflection
while inside of it,
now i’ve had a night to dream strange dreams
and almost think about it
but not quite

not quite

i’m not in the moment, so i feel i can’t write about being in the moment
and i’m not really outside of the experience, so i can’t write about looking back

i’m in a limbo of experiences’ making

so i suppose i’ll talk about that

this liminal time between being knee-deep/
elbow-deep/
maybe in over one’s own head
in an experience
riding that wave
and
the time afterward where one can look back
to reflect on what one has done
in memories/contemplations/
from a bit of a distance

this liminal space of being part of something that has not yet disbanded
but not currently experiencing the thing experienced
anymore

i’m using a lot of words because i don’t know how this feeling actually feels in words

[i suppose
that’s why we use the term “liminal”

it means a thing/space/experience of being in-between

it means something that’s hard to put into words
because it will always be
in-between words

i’m experiencing between experiences

i’m living between moments —
between ‘during’ and ‘after’

it’s an awkward, growing-pains kind of place to be living,
and it won’t last forever

but i’m living in it
and riding it as far as it’ll go

because as soon as this feeling ceases
then the experience really is
fully
over

and i don’t think i’m ready for that
quite yet]