December 18, 2025

this puppy
is so damn cute
i cannot handle it
i cannot handle it

playing with the squeaker of a long-gone toy
placing it gently in my hand
and nudging it forward
for me to throw

and the utter delight as she scrambles
on all of her feeties
trying to catch the squeaker as it bounces
unevenly
across the floor

or the container from yesterday’s dog ice cream
handing it off to me
in order to play tug
or just lick it some more
getting the last little bits of flavor
out from the waxed cardboard

or just laying on the ground
and looking up at me
with her giant, beautiful, trusting, dark-rimmed
puppy dog eyes
and white eyebrows
[evolutionarily placed there
just so her species
could mimic mine]
and i don’t always know what she’s thinking
but i know she’s trying to communicate with me
with little
stomps of her feet
or half-breathy boofs
or a hesitant wag of her tail
or just a side-look
and my heart melts
and i am putty for her
because she is putty for me
and we collapse into each other
enjoying being
puppy and human
and not too dissimilar
for a moment
in time

December 16, 2025

the puppy is so whine-y
and hassle-y
and i think she just wants
to play with me
or have me
play with her
but i never know exactly what she wants
attention?
scritches?
a throwing of the ball?
to just have us not be staring at a screen?
[i mean, i’m writing this whole poem
with my eyes only on her
checking in every now and then
to make sure i’ve hit
the right button on my keyboard,
but she’s still whining
still hassling
still being
a silly little
waggity-tailed
puppy
with her gorgeous brown eyes
gazing up at me
and her little puppy barks
melting
my damn heart]

December 15, 2025

i should have known
i’d swing the far reaches of the pendulum
the opposite way

going from
‘everyone must know my name
or i’m an ultimate failure’
to
‘if i’m known, my peace is unprotected;
and i’d rather stay at home and be safe’

[i suppose it’s not the wildest swing
known to humankind
but it sure does feel…
extreme]

December 14, 2025

look at it snow
look at it snow

the frozen, wet wet droplets, careening down to the ground
with all their friends, with all their friends,
coating our new york city
with a wintry wonderland mix of
wet and beauty
white and sludgy
and making me feel like
i’m almost ready
for the rest of this season
[but only if it’s going to be
this
gorgeous]

December 13, 2025

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

December 12, 2025

i wonder
if i whiled away my morning hours
finding the rhymes
and alliterations with time,
if i’d feel more
connected/
more a part of/
more in line
with my silly morning poems —

if i seriously sat still
thinking of the perfect line
the perfect rhyme
the perfect kind of poem to
express
and impress
and decompress
and perhaps then
i’d force my poems on others

[but, as it stands now, i can only make that happen
for like half to two thirds of a full poem,
and then i let go the pretense, and get back to the words
that just make sense
with my morning brain]

December 10, 2025

tenth day
in the twelfth month
named after the number ten

do we merry-go-round each other
until our paradoxes
and anachronisms
make sense

or is life simply accepting
that parts of life simply
never make simple
sense