September 25, 2026

how has it only been one week
since we stampeded
through lower manhattan

a week ago this time, we still didn’t know what it was like
to be inside our buffalo for two hours
going
and going
in humidity so oppressive
i sweat more than i ever have
in my life

a week ago this time, we still had training to do
and things to learn
and choreography to go over

a week ago this time, we still felt inside it
did not know what it would seem like
from the outside
what the actual event would be like
how the public would react
honestly, how we would react

how has it only been a week?

how was it only one week?

how was it only one week to train and learn and form community
and honor and become alive become a herd
get to know our particular bison so
that they each got names and were loved
absolutely loved
by each and every puppeteer?

i often joke that i don’t understand how time works
that it’s wibbly wobbly
that it’s not linear
that it’s quangled
that it’s a mortal construction
and that time is far beyond our mere understanding of it

but damn

one week feels like too long and not long enough

and an entire eternity can take place in one week
in one two hour chunk
in one moment of a styrofoam eye glancing towards
a toddler who screams “the buffalo looked at me!”

memories make our own infinities

and i hope, for everyone who experienced the buffalo
they can look back and live in a memory
for as long as they need

for even longer than the week it took to make them come to life

[i should look up how long it took to physically make
each and every
one…]

September 20, 2026

absorbing
and digesting
and discovering
and recovering
and breathing through
this day following
our final day

it was bittersweet

it was a lot

i think i could have written a better reflection
while inside of it,
now i’ve had a night to dream strange dreams
and almost think about it
but not quite

not quite

i’m not in the moment, so i feel i can’t write about being in the moment
and i’m not really outside of the experience, so i can’t write about looking back

i’m in a limbo of experiences’ making

so i suppose i’ll talk about that

this liminal time between being knee-deep/
elbow-deep/
maybe in over one’s own head
in an experience
riding that wave
and
the time afterward where one can look back
to reflect on what one has done
in memories/contemplations/
from a bit of a distance

this liminal space of being part of something that has not yet disbanded
but not currently experiencing the thing experienced
anymore

i’m using a lot of words because i don’t know how this feeling actually feels in words

[i suppose
that’s why we use the term “liminal”

it means a thing/space/experience of being in-between

it means something that’s hard to put into words
because it will always be
in-between words

i’m experiencing between experiences

i’m living between moments —
between ‘during’ and ‘after’

it’s an awkward, growing-pains kind of place to be living,
and it won’t last forever

but i’m living in it
and riding it as far as it’ll go

because as soon as this feeling ceases
then the experience really is
fully
over

and i don’t think i’m ready for that
quite yet]

September 19, 2026

our bodies are so strong
even as we chafe and bruise
and ache and stiffen
we are still able to continue on
step by buffalo step

i know there is some sort of scientific reason
we can go and go and go —
if it’s adrenaline and/or cortisol
some bodily/muscular word that explains
how we’ve been built, over generations,
to be marathon animals
rather than sprinters

but i think there is also a spiritual reason
that artists can continue and continue and continue
as we sweat out buckets and get exhausted
and our buffalo seems to get heavier and heavier —
it’s the connection between us within the puppet
the connection between all of us in the herd
the connection between our animals and the humans surrounding
all of us hoping for the coming of a kinder, gentler, more buffalo future

these masses of wood and paper and burlap and erosion cloth
become alive the moment we connect
and we see and respect that life, that spirit
and walk with them

we are walking with them

will you walk with us?

September 17, 2026

i wish i could bottle certain feelings
and uncork and inhale them when needed

last night i had a moment of utter bliss
looking around, watching adults and artists
puppeteering giant buffalo around a warehouse in brooklyn
everyone concentrating
everyone knowing
it’s an illusion but also a very real spirit
that makes this whole herd work

it’s art and community and hope and strength
and imagination and wisdom and belief
and i damn near cried because i couldn’t believe
this is real life
this is better than i could have imagined
my time on earth
would be spent

helping native persons
helping the earth

with art and performance and everything i have ever wanted to do

i suppose i’m inhaling that bottled sense again this morning
writing about it
trying to express with words what words cannot express
but can, perhaps, capture a sample
or imitate for future use

for when i feel lost

for when i feel depressed

for when i have no hope

i can remember one hundred and sixty? seventy? eighty? people
some inside a puppet
some outside observers
learners
like me
all with one goal in mind: create conversation
for the betterment of everyone on this planet
every person, human and non-human,
and doing it with
art

art that took teams and teams to imagine and map out
and build and construct
and put final touches on
and doctor and make better
and teams to map out routes and talk with other groups
and performers and city officials and advertise so more people
will see and continue a conversation we are creating
we, this team, all voluntary, all wanting to bring to life
this art, this stampede, this dream,
this imagining

this honoring

i hope those who see from the outside tomorrow and saturday
see what i saw yesterday
feel what i felt yesterday

that it’s amazing to be
here
now

with people
with buffalo
with hope
with art
with life

let us let the earth continue to provide this magic

let us help the earth

let us help the magic

May 18, 2024

i still feel like i’m trapped in my house
not allowed to go out
not suitable for other human’s consumption
and i want to need to wait
a bit
longer to be permitted to rejoin the human race

~~~

unknown what to write
what to even think about
when my morning has been going
a certain way for a week, and now goes
a completely
different route

[i hate that i need consistency]

~~~

puppeteering
and back to singing
and in a show again
and pride-month dancing
and still i have no idea
if i even want to be perceived
in front of an audience
at this stage in my life
or not