September 20, 2026

absorbing
and digesting
and discovering
and recovering
and breathing through
this day following
our final day

it was bittersweet

it was a lot

i think i could have written a better reflection
while inside of it,
now i’ve had a night to dream strange dreams
and almost think about it
but not quite

not quite

i’m not in the moment, so i feel i can’t write about being in the moment
and i’m not really outside of the experience, so i can’t write about looking back

i’m in a limbo of experiences’ making

so i suppose i’ll talk about that

this liminal time between being knee-deep/
elbow-deep/
maybe in over one’s own head
in an experience
riding that wave
and
the time afterward where one can look back
to reflect on what one has done
in memories/contemplations/
from a bit of a distance

this liminal space of being part of something that has not yet disbanded
but not currently experiencing the thing experienced
anymore

i’m using a lot of words because i don’t know how this feeling actually feels in words

[i suppose
that’s why we use the term “liminal”

it means a thing/space/experience of being in-between

it means something that’s hard to put into words
because it will always be
in-between words

i’m experiencing between experiences

i’m living between moments —
between ‘during’ and ‘after’

it’s an awkward, growing-pains kind of place to be living,
and it won’t last forever

but i’m living in it
and riding it as far as it’ll go

because as soon as this feeling ceases
then the experience really is
fully
over

and i don’t think i’m ready for that
quite yet]

September 19, 2026

our bodies are so strong
even as we chafe and bruise
and ache and stiffen
we are still able to continue on
step by buffalo step

i know there is some sort of scientific reason
we can go and go and go —
if it’s adrenaline and/or cortisol
some bodily/muscular word that explains
how we’ve been built, over generations,
to be marathon animals
rather than sprinters

but i think there is also a spiritual reason
that artists can continue and continue and continue
as we sweat out buckets and get exhausted
and our buffalo seems to get heavier and heavier —
it’s the connection between us within the puppet
the connection between all of us in the herd
the connection between our animals and the humans surrounding
all of us hoping for the coming of a kinder, gentler, more buffalo future

these masses of wood and paper and burlap and erosion cloth
become alive the moment we connect
and we see and respect that life, that spirit
and walk with them

we are walking with them

will you walk with us?

September 17, 2026

i wish i could bottle certain feelings
and uncork and inhale them when needed

last night i had a moment of utter bliss
looking around, watching adults and artists
puppeteering giant buffalo around a warehouse in brooklyn
everyone concentrating
everyone knowing
it’s an illusion but also a very real spirit
that makes this whole herd work

it’s art and community and hope and strength
and imagination and wisdom and belief
and i damn near cried because i couldn’t believe
this is real life
this is better than i could have imagined
my time on earth
would be spent

helping native persons
helping the earth

with art and performance and everything i have ever wanted to do

i suppose i’m inhaling that bottled sense again this morning
writing about it
trying to express with words what words cannot express
but can, perhaps, capture a sample
or imitate for future use

for when i feel lost

for when i feel depressed

for when i have no hope

i can remember one hundred and sixty? seventy? eighty? people
some inside a puppet
some outside observers
learners
like me
all with one goal in mind: create conversation
for the betterment of everyone on this planet
every person, human and non-human,
and doing it with
art

art that took teams and teams to imagine and map out
and build and construct
and put final touches on
and doctor and make better
and teams to map out routes and talk with other groups
and performers and city officials and advertise so more people
will see and continue a conversation we are creating
we, this team, all voluntary, all wanting to bring to life
this art, this stampede, this dream,
this imagining

this honoring

i hope those who see from the outside tomorrow and saturday
see what i saw yesterday
feel what i felt yesterday

that it’s amazing to be
here
now

with people
with buffalo
with hope
with art
with life

let us let the earth continue to provide this magic

let us help the earth

let us help the magic

September 4, 2026

learning new things
talking to new people

just because i
stepped out of my house yesterday

[and yes, i could have/should have
been doing many chores on my
forever growing to do list, but
hey, i fell a little more in love with
this city and its people and
nerds in general, and i love being
able to just go to a thing i know
almost nothing about and make
friends and learn so so so much]

[that’s what living in
nyc is all about, right?]

August 13, 2026

ten years ago we had just gotten married
and had delayed our honeymoon to take
while i had the opportunity to perform
in the new york city international fringe festival
and so we were here
ten years ago
in a summer heat wave
staying in a fancy hotel
in times square
two introverts
constantly overwhelmed
and at the end of that trip
ten years ago
we both agreed
that we did not like nyc
and would never
ever
ever live here

jokes on us ten years ago
because, over the last six and three quarters years
i have learned what it is to love
a place

because new york and new yorkers
have taught me so many things
about living and diversity and togetherness and community
and perseverance
and humor
and art

i don’t know what my life would be like living any other place
but i’m damn glad kip found parts of this city away from tourism hell
and we found our little pocket of nature and quiet in the middle of
the city that never sleeps, and i still get so excited
to go downtown and i still get so excited
to come back home and i still can’t believe
we live in this magical, dirty, weird, unique, and wonderful place
that ten years ago i hated so hard

i love it here

July 19, 2026

the only thing i looked up
in terms of the world cup
was what day it
ends

that’s today!
that’s today!

i won’t have to deal with my
city, my
commute, my
life
being interrupted
anymore
after today

[and i made sure today was a day
i stayed the fuck at home anyway]

good riddance to these hassles

and good riddance to the idea
that people would come into this country
as it slides down its slippery slope to abject fascism

i hope it was boycotted to the point of abject failure

[i sure know i’d never pay $93 to take a bus to jersey]

*side note: at least those who did travel, met american citizens in these cities
who showed our allegiance is not with the current administration,
and perhaps world relations are bettering in some ways

which i suppose is part of the point of the world cup

ugh…

July 5, 2026

i do not understand
americans —
the insistence on setting off fireworks
when the veterans they purport to support
endure ptsd flashbacks/
when the cities insist it’s a danger in this heat/
when the lightning is lightninging all around them/
and the rain makes the fuses hard to light/
and the legality of it all is kind of..fuzzy…
this “tradition”
[that, like most traditions, is probably not that old at all]
that those who insist on loving america conditional to their understanding of it
also insist on blasting off big fiery booms,
but for whose benefit?
when this anniversary of our independence
the approval rating even inside the country
is at an all-time low —
i don’t understand americans to the point where
i’m insisting on not labeling myself as one
as to distance myself from
the vibe they
emit

[“don’t call me an american,
i’m a new yorker”]

[but new york still had fireworks too tho…]

June 28, 2026

Pride

not a sin
not a parade
not an opportunity to buy rainbow things
not just a march
not just a month
not just a gathering of community much needed
but
a vibe shift
another word for joy
a holding society through a season of change
a riot
a protest
a holding society’s feet to the fire when it comes to what is deemed
acceptable
and what is not
a lifeline
a party
but only if all are included together
a personal curiosity
a way to show support and empathy
a reconfiguring of societal acceptance
no longer as what is wanted
but as our society
holding the power
and saying to the “majority”
you cannot cannot cannot make decisions
for the most downtrodden —
it is morally reprehensible when the most alone of us
are not
lifted
up

Pride is a way to lift each other up

and if that is not what is happening
i want no part in it

[if you are in the nyc area, go march in the
Queer Liberation March
today]