July 5, 2026

i do not understand
americans —
the insistence on setting off fireworks
when the veterans they purport to support
endure ptsd flashbacks/
when the cities insist it’s a danger in this heat/
when the lightning is lightninging all around them/
and the rain makes the fuses hard to light/
and the legality of it all is kind of..fuzzy…
this “tradition”
[that, like most traditions, is probably not that old at all]
that those who insist on loving america conditional to their understanding of it
also insist on blasting off big fiery booms,
but for whose benefit?
when this anniversary of our independence
the approval rating even inside the country
is at an all-time low —
i don’t understand americans to the point where
i’m insisting on not labeling myself as one
as to distance myself from
the vibe they
emit

[“don’t call me an american,
i’m a new yorker”]

[but new york still had fireworks too tho…]

June 28, 2026

Pride

not a sin
not a parade
not an opportunity to buy rainbow things
not just a march
not just a month
not just a gathering of community much needed
but
a vibe shift
another word for joy
a holding society through a season of change
a riot
a protest
a holding society’s feet to the fire when it comes to what is deemed
acceptable
and what is not
a lifeline
a party
but only if all are included together
a personal curiosity
a way to show support and empathy
a reconfiguring of societal acceptance
no longer as what is wanted
but as our society
holding the power
and saying to the “majority”
you cannot cannot cannot make decisions
for the most downtrodden —
it is morally reprehensible when the most alone of us
are not
lifted
up

Pride is a way to lift each other up

and if that is not what is happening
i want no part in it

[if you are in the nyc area, go march in the
Queer Liberation March
today]

June 14, 2026

i feel like i’m coasting
sliding around in
almost-depression-land
and i can’t tell what’s
keeping me relatively afloat —
is it having theatre again?
is it my kip? my cat? my dog?
is it my brain chemistry/hormone levels finally calming and settling?
is it the summer heat?
or the summer sunlight?
is it the medication whose only job is to keep the depression from overtaking me?
is it some combination of all of these?

but it’s so strange to feel
the slippery sliding that usually means
an approach to a worse and worse time
but then feeling overall mildly okay

June 7, 2026

i forgot
i forgot
i forgot how much time
theatre takes

not that i’m mad about it
[it does occupy my mind
in a way little else does]
but
i forgot that it takes me away
from my favorite kip
my favorite spouse
and i don’t enjoy them
feeling
abandoned

at least we can laugh about it

[and someday i’ll get to be home
for longer than
the time it takes
to sleep and wake up and have breakfast and leave]

May 23, 2026

i thought i was busy
before working
five jobs
[six if you split up
the two i’m doing for this show]

and while the theatre gig is taking up
so much more of my time
than all the others
combined

it is the place i feel
most at home
and like i kinda know
what i’m doing

and i’m trying to listen
when my own guts
and the universe
say something

May 4, 2026

kip
going out
doing things
meeting for dinners and
going to networking events
in the city

and me
going out
doing things
running friends around and
socializing and working outside of the house
going into [and out of] the city

we’re acting like
a couple of new yorkers!

[it only took the looming threat
of a move
and/or unemployment
to get us here]

April 1, 2026

a moment
with a stray cat
yelling at me as i looked past the spot
i usually check
for cats

a moment
with a hawk
screeching over my head
and actually seeing it
soar
away

a moment
with all the birds
who eat the cat food we put out for the strays,
the starlings and mockingbirds and robins and wrens and blue jays
[would they all actually eat the bird food
if we put up a bird feeder, or is purina
always going to be their
meal of choice?]

a moment
with our silly dog
whining at all the other
canines walking past

a moment
with squirrels
with skunks
with raccoons and possums at night
with rats along the indoor subway line
and the pigeons flocking outside

i cannot express what it means
to me
to have all these animals around us
and
get to take advantage of living inside the city

the bronx is truly a beautiful place

March 18, 2026

there is a super secret cinnabon
somewhere in penn station

and if you’ve only ever explored
moynihan
and the pathway between the subway lines
you’ll never ever ever guess
where it could be

[but if you’ve taken new jersey transit
i bet you’ve already been there
perhaps grabbed some cinnamon rolls to go
some time]

but it felt
oh so
super
secret
to me