i am not ready for fall

i’m still trying to wear summer outfits
in 46 degrees
and shivering

i am not ready for fall

the night comes too early
and i simply want to
sleep

i am not ready for fall

the semester started with
a bang
and has yet to fizzle to something seeming
comfortable/doable for longer than looking
week
by week

i am not ready for fall

physically
mentally
emotionally

but something inside me says
it’s time for fall
some unknown piece that i have yet to identify
a cyclical part
or a section connected
deeper to the earth than i could have expected
could have written about before the fall
overtook me

but

i am not really for fall

and yet
in at least one way
i think i am ready for fall

and i’ll rely on that readiness
to lead me into the darkness
of autumn to winter
to too busy and too cold to do anything
to discomfort and cycles and sadness
so that i can be oh so ready when spring comes
to pick me back up

and who knows

maybe something exciting will come this season

we won’t know until we go

so
okay
i suppose
i am [somewhat] ready for fall