NYC

July 12, 2025 [part 2]

/ HJ / Leave a comment

while we didn’t fall in love with Lisbon
like we thought we might

we definitely fell in love with Europe
and the fact that people here
seem to be a little bit more functional/
the democracies around here
definitely are more functional
than the shitshow we left
and are now approaching back

and Paris
the surprise contender
from least likely
to most
in our future endeavors

[is it just that we fall in love with
anything
that reminds us of New York?]

[is that the moral of this whole experience?]

June 26, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

getting choked up
at rallies where we all chant
“we are New Yorkers”
to signify we won’t be beaten down
or give in
to fascism

literally tearing up
while reading the world’s responses
to our mayoral primary
“that’s my mayor”
in Cleveland
in Virginia
in New Zealand
in Europe

those damn tote bags were right —

don’t you dare call me an american
i’ve never had any
pride in my country

but don’t you dare forget
that i’m a New Yorker
and my chosen city
stands up for all our
beliefs

and when we get together on something
don’t you dare forget
what we can all accomplish
as New Yorkers
together

June 22, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

when i think of an elephant, i see giant gentleness, i hear the stomps of their feet and the flapping of their ears, and i feel a sense of peace and safety

~~~

when i think of an elephant, i see mammoth past, i hear calls for connection for the present, i feel uncertainty for a future for them all

~~~

when i think of an elephant, i see a being, i hear a whole herd, i feel the lifetimes of their ancestors and descendants all around me

~~~

rsvp to The Elephant Play here

June 7, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

walking the puppy
up and down the sidewalk
that same sidewalk we do every morning
and she always smells different things
keeps up with different dogs in the neighborhood
[“reads the newspaper” if you will]
and i stand by, astounded
that something as beautiful smelling as honeysuckle
can be growing
and scenting
this new york city
neighborhood

[even if they are invasive…]

May 16, 2025

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performing

anxiety
anticipation
excitement
fear

hope

acting

for better or worse
it was my first training
it was my most training
it is the time that i feel the most myself
on stage
even with the
anxiety
and fear
there is always still
anticipation
to excitement
to hope

[if you’ll be in nyc
tomorrow, may 17th,
come on out!]

March 28, 2025

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what will Pride be like this year
with our government in shambles
and all the blame for
everything
placed on the shoulders of those
who pioneered the struggle and marches
that today’s parades are based on

will rainbow capitalism
make an appearance
or are we simply
closer to Sylvia and Marsha P’s era
than we ever have been
before?

[and will that help
in community-building
and getting back
to what Pride
actually means?]

August 22, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the panic had receded
slightly
right around the trip
[maybe it’s because
i was travel-stressed
so i had no room in me
for any other stressors]
[maybe it was just the magic
of a trip
of a visit
to people i love]
whatever it was, i even felt less
the stress
of coming back here — opportunities seemed
gettable
achievable
doable
and i felt like i could march right in
to anywhere
and at least ask for what i want with my life

but now that i’m back
the existential dread has set right back in —
i barely had a day and a half
before i was sad
and panic-ridden
and overwhelmed
and lonely
in this city of millions and millions and millions

and yet i love it here
and it is definitely home
and i ache for it when i leave

how do you do this, nyc?

August 14, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

driving past places
i’ve driven past
hundreds of times
and to see so many
unchanged
still there
on that road
made me feel
almost like i’m unchanged
and i’m still the me
from five years ago
living in madison
living for the now
and the potential
to make it as an actor
in nyc

what was i placed on this planet to be?