where did these sads come from?
why do they appear
in the midst of what should be
a happy time?

how are they somehow
related
to that happy time?

like i can’t let myself
get swept up in the moment —
i need to remind myself
in every moment
of joy
that despair
and tragedy
exists.

like if i let go
of the depression
that runs everything,
the glue that holds my whole being
together
will loosen
and split
and i’ll fall
apart;

and i just want
to be
myself

[someday]

[someday]