united states of america

July 19, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the only thing i looked up
in terms of the world cup
was what day it
ends

that’s today!
that’s today!

i won’t have to deal with my
city, my
commute, my
life
being interrupted
anymore
after today

[and i made sure today was a day
i stayed the fuck at home anyway]

good riddance to these hassles

and good riddance to the idea
that people would come into this country
as it slides down its slippery slope to abject fascism

i hope it was boycotted to the point of abject failure

[i sure know i’d never pay $93 to take a bus to jersey]

*side note: at least those who did travel, met american citizens in these cities
who showed our allegiance is not with the current administration,
and perhaps world relations are bettering in some ways

which i suppose is part of the point of the world cup

ugh…

July 5, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i do not understand
americans —
the insistence on setting off fireworks
when the veterans they purport to support
endure ptsd flashbacks/
when the cities insist it’s a danger in this heat/
when the lightning is lightninging all around them/
and the rain makes the fuses hard to light/
and the legality of it all is kind of..fuzzy…
this “tradition”
[that, like most traditions, is probably not that old at all]
that those who insist on loving america conditional to their understanding of it
also insist on blasting off big fiery booms,
but for whose benefit?
when this anniversary of our independence
the approval rating even inside the country
is at an all-time low —
i don’t understand americans to the point where
i’m insisting on not labeling myself as one
as to distance myself from
the vibe they
emit

[“don’t call me an american,
i’m a new yorker”]

[but new york still had fireworks too tho…]

April 8, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

to write
of rights
of all the rest of us
who disagree
with this
dumbass
dictatorial
authoritarian
administration
[that couldn’t get an actual majority of citizens’ votes
legally
if they wanted to]

but to write,
my rights
are being taken away
disappeared
along with actual human beings
citizens
and legal immigrants
and legality shouldn’t matter
when it comes to
humanity

i feel hopeless and helpless
and i know that’s on purpose
but maybe with all of us
we can overthrow this asshole
one
word
one
person
one
hope
at a time

August 14, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i think my lot in life
is to fight fascism with
art
humanity
and softness

i don’t know how much of an impact i can make

but i can make you think about the fact that i don’t consider
fascists
humans

and perhaps that’s enough to get our brains working on critical thinking once more

August 7, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

contemplating civil unrest
and violence
and propaganda
and slippery slopes
and all the things that my mind is stuck on
daily
alongside the silly things
i have anxiety about
as well

if only my brain could give an indication of
what it actually is anxious about
because, if it’s the very real dangers
that are closer than people would like to admit
[though i will be fair here and give credence to the
systems in place to stop a war from happening, but
the state-sponsored violence is scary enough
already]
then maybe i have a mind that is
realistic
and preparing me
for potential trauma,
but
if it’s just freaked out about the menial
mundane
teeny tiny things
[and i’d actually do ok
in even more “unprecedented times”]
then maybe a medical intervention
to my anxiety is what is needed
at this time

but no, my distress
and obsession
bounce back and forth between
what are very real, but probably far away, fears
and overreacting to daily issues
most folks seem to deal with
mindlessly

i don’t want to lose my ability to be prepared for any eventuality

but, damn, this preparedness is killing me…

July 27, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

why isn’t it more acceptable
to protest with
citizenship?

[i mean, i know why
logistically
but wouldn’t that be an interesting world to live in
if it was actually feasible to do so?]

July 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i never, ever thought i would identify
so strongly with a place

but my heart
leaps
at being called “a New Yorker”
and i can’t help but write
countless poems about
the place
and the people
and the identity

and my heart beats harder
and my anxiety lulls softer
when anywhere that reminds me
of my chosen home

[would i still feel like a New Yorker
if we fled to Paris
for safety?]

July 12, 2025 [part 2]

/ HJ / Leave a comment

while we didn’t fall in love with Lisbon
like we thought we might

we definitely fell in love with Europe
and the fact that people here
seem to be a little bit more functional/
the democracies around here
definitely are more functional
than the shitshow we left
and are now approaching back

and Paris
the surprise contender
from least likely
to most
in our future endeavors

[is it just that we fall in love with
anything
that reminds us of New York?]

[is that the moral of this whole experience?]