theatre

June 15, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

living in one world
or another

splitting my focus

when one takes over
the other needs to take a backseat

and sometimes
because of how much i love each thing
a backseat feels like
it fell off the vehicle
entirely

but i turn around
and pick it back up
and gently place it
front seat and center again in my focus
until the split needs to happen once more

it’s hard loving so many things
so many activities
so many lives

[but it’s only ever hard on the focus needed
the actual amount of love i have is
absolutely limitless]

June 14, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i feel like i’m coasting
sliding around in
almost-depression-land
and i can’t tell what’s
keeping me relatively afloat —
is it having theatre again?
is it my kip? my cat? my dog?
is it my brain chemistry/hormone levels finally calming and settling?
is it the summer heat?
or the summer sunlight?
is it the medication whose only job is to keep the depression from overtaking me?
is it some combination of all of these?

but it’s so strange to feel
the slippery sliding that usually means
an approach to a worse and worse time
but then feeling overall mildly okay

June 10, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

no sleep
no life outside of theatre
breaking out all over my face
insomnia
all day every day inside a dark black box
sitting
then running around
then sitting again
no lights then bright lights
quiet
and too much sound
the senses are jarred awake
in jarring
but lovely ways

i still don’t know who i am half the time
nor how i fit in to society/how others perceive me
but at least i generally feel at home in the theatre

[even with everything it brings
damn
do i feel at home in a theatre]

June 8, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

our yard is so green
and the spring and summer are battling each other
for who gains control
every day
and i’m spending a majority of my time
in a tiny
dark
theater

and yet, i rarely feel more like myself
than when trapped
in tiny
dark
theaters
all day long

June 7, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i forgot
i forgot
i forgot how much time
theatre takes

not that i’m mad about it
[it does occupy my mind
in a way little else does]
but
i forgot that it takes me away
from my favorite kip
my favorite spouse
and i don’t enjoy them
feeling
abandoned

at least we can laugh about it

[and someday i’ll get to be home
for longer than
the time it takes
to sleep and wake up and have breakfast and leave]

May 29, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

lend me a
bit of a
repose

jump in and then
jump out for a
moment

i can run and run
and get things done
but i need a break every
now and again

even if it’s just half an hour

to write my morning poetry

[and then back to grinding]

May 23, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i thought i was busy
before working
five jobs
[six if you split up
the two i’m doing for this show]

and while the theatre gig is taking up
so much more of my time
than all the others
combined

it is the place i feel
most at home
and like i kinda know
what i’m doing

and i’m trying to listen
when my own guts
and the universe
say something

May 21, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the pull to listen to
my high-school-age sound-track
is so damn strong

helping to direct a play
set in 2003
in two boys’ high school careers
and high school emotions
and high school coming-outs
[comings-out?]

it reminds me so highly
of my own story in
2006

the first love
[though mine did not last]
[thank goodness]
the self-hatred and
fear of the world
as you find your own footing
in your own community
[though my church was not a christian one]
even as that shifts to a different community
perhaps a community
of two

“we’re keeping it alive”
“what?”
“each other”

is one of the truest moments
i’ve ever heard on the page

and i hope it still rings so true
to a public audience
on the stage