a hassle-day
often brings the kips
closer
(even if they have to go through so much
stress/angst/shakes/tears to get there)
we are always on the same team
the kips
December 20, 2022
ten years ago
i
was bored at my home
ten years ago
i
felt community thirty minutes away
(at a college i never attended)
ten years ago
i
called out to my friends to see
if anyone would be
excited for me
to come hang out that evening
ten years ago
i
happened to [re-]meet the love of my life
and this time we were both ready
available
and actually looking
pondering each other for
conquest
and connection
but
it is not this day that we count
as our official anniversary
ten years ago today
was a preamble
a flirtation
a stuttering step towards
a beginning
tomorrow
will be the actual anniversary:
that post-midnight
that coming together
that “end of the world”
that, even if it did actually end,
and this is all a simulation in someone else’s head,
at least we got a chance to meet and be together
ten years ago
the best thing that ever happened to me
was
you
and for the past ten years
that has continued
to be
true
July 21, 2022
listening to lovely music
(modern classical, in case you’re interested)
chatting with my Kip over coffee
about workers and wages
and contemporary conveniences
and whether ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ rhetoric
came out of union slander
or not
a regular morning in this
household
July 19, 2022
the two kips
unfocused
in two different ways
someone help someone write something
(sometimes you just need to fumble over words
at each other
making the other person laugh
before you come up with the
perfect plan
and go back to writing
immédiatement)
May 13, 2022
poets
are supposed to be
sentimental
romantical
(or so society says)
their best works coming
from falling
head over heels over head
over and over and over again
with people/with person/with newfound loving
but i count myself a poet
(as strange as it still feels
internally;
but
you can’t do something
every day
for over a year
and not get to take that label)
and i suppose i feel
sentimental
romantical
but without the drama
without the dire feelings
without the falling/
not knowing/
which way is up/
will there be ground when i fall/
will it cushion or strike/
a final blow/
so/
i feel like my poems aren’t the romantical kind
most people expect
but i’ve had nearly ten years with you,
six of those legally wed
(straight out of a time i thought that’d never be a thing)
(planning a wedding when you don’t know which state
will abate
the legality of your love
is an…interesting experience, to say the least)
and we skipped most societal standards,
no first/second/third date rules,
just us, sharing our personal traumas
amid late night kisses
and early morning apple juice;
a first “date” lasting damn near 24 hours
(and only a previous commitment kept it
from just extending
ad inifinitum
as many sapphic first dates go)
a one night stand
turned to talking
and magnetic-felt pulling
until we collapsed our expectations,
shed our ‘no [new] relationship rules’
and went from officially dating
to quietly engaged
in four months
flat
and each month after
i’ve learned from you
and grown with you,
and we’ve had great times
and incredibly hard times,
quiet times
and a few loud times,
but most of the time
it’s simply
comfortable-being-with-you times.
i love our co-[in]dependence
that we’ve come into on our own terms.
and that year [+] where we could only see each other
was such a welcome gift.
and even though nothing is ever promised,
i can see my future more clearly
with you
than i’ve ever seen it before,
and i know
when we’re ghosts
we’ll finally be able to cuddle the way we want
bypassing physical boundaries
and feeling that closeness we yearn for
in every tight tight hug…
we were wed
6 years ago on this day
so i suppose that’s why
today
i’m feeling
sentimental
[and a bit romantical]
but also
sentimentality sneaks up on me
most days
that i get to see you
across the table from me
working on your programming
while i write stanzas of free-form poetry,
or when we’re apart
and i feel the heartbeat vibration
of my phone telling me it’s you texting me
little words of love
or collections of memes sent as a love language all its own
or getting ready for bedtime
in this house we’ve made a home
with our adorable little family
and the comfort of us
just being
[together]
i’m sentimental for you
in a way i never thought i’d be
and i must admit
i’m grateful for it,
my Kip.
February 2, 2022
2-2-22
[two, two, two two]
and groundhog day
is my delight of fun dates lessened
because i’m no longer in a class where
writing the date is required,
and i no longer have dozens of other students around me
commenting on the weirdness/wonder-ness
of the date
let’s see if i can get that same high
just from spousal conversation;
the delighted “ah!”
akin to the noise [i’d believe] would come
out of the mouth of a baby velociraptor
that just emitted from my blue-haired spouse’s mouth
has made up for
years
without classmates
(and years with)
and how wonderful that i get to live this life
with this Kip
(especially since,
when i was a child in those classrooms,
i was sure,
absolutely, 100% convinced
that i would never be partnered
because my ‘weird’ was too much
for anyone else to love
(and also because, you know, the trauma,
and deals i made with myself
to avoid giving love to another
who may end up leaving me)
and yes, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed
but i now have hundreds of these morning page poems
each encapsulating a memory,
most across a giant, cluttered table,
writing early morning musings
while my spouse does the same
(or programs)
(or peruses the internet)
(or writes emails)
and those mornings turn into days
of silly moments during work hours
stealing a kiss because we missed each other,
and evenings of silly videos
or deep conversations
or delicious meals
or tight cuddles
or cat-hassling
or meandering dog walks
(oftentimes most or all of the above)
and baby HJ never thought they’d encounter
a human being
who could love them so much
warts (and tears) (and weirds) and all.
January 7, 2022
having been burned by
the National Weather Service
and over-preparedness
in the past,
the Kips opted
to ignore the
winter weather advisory
for their area
and sleep comfortably in a home
with
no shovel
and
no rock salt
and woke to some of the
pack-y-est snow they’ve seen
in NYC
thus far.
but all is not lost,
for these two new(ish) homeowners,
for they had opted for a push-broom
to rid their driveway of autumnal leaves
and that seemed to work fine
(for now)
for the little piece of sidewalk
and tiny driveway
that they have
and perhaps,
if it does continue to snow
(as the weather app says)
they will brave the icy streets
(which hold no fear in the driving Kip,
having spent six years in Wisconsin
driving multiple times a day)
to pick up
a brand new snow shovel
and a bucket of (pet safe) salt.
but for now:
coffee,
bagels,
and enjoying this wonderland view.
December 30, 2021
the balance
of yin and yang
(Kip and Kip)
is to have the one
be
stressed out of their mind
working all day
(during vacation)
snappy,
trappy,
not happy,
and the other
enjoying
Repair Shop
and
audiobooks
and leisurely cross-stitching
all damn day…
~~~
went to bed
with an ache
that could have been the universe
reaching into me
to warn me
of something devastating approaching
or
it could have been
empathic absorption
of my spouse’s stress.
(when will i find out which?)
~~~
no,
please don’t eat the chocolate,
or the dog’s food,
or sleep on needles,
or rub yourself all around in cedar spray
or-
-what did i just say about the chocolate?!
[this cat]
December 21, 2021
if you ever have a dog
with the dizzies
(the vertigo)
(the nausea)
(the old dog disease)
(the canine idiopathic vestibular disorder)
know that you can help your dog
replenish her fluids
with ice cubes
(or at least
it’s a little easier
than bringing a bowl of water to her
that she continually,
uncoordinatedly,
backs away from
in fear)
know this, so that you may be able to give your dog plenty of water
within that first 24/48 hours,
rather than being like us
and struggling for each droplet
in rubber bowls and silver spoons and white dishrags on plates
and not thinking of ‘solid water’ until
day three.
signed,
the kips
October 4, 2021
we did it
(and only a few tears)
we did it
(and there’s really not that much left
to do
in the old place)
we did it
all our stuff is now in the house!
(how have we done this
four or five times already
and still stayed together?)
(i suppose that’s why people
look up to our love???)
kipventures 