dog calming music
to calm both kips
because we are as predictable
[and as good]
as dogs
the kips
April 11, 2024
watching Kip
the day before their birthday
assemble legos
and read fun facts and trivia
about the plants they are re-creating
with little plastic bricks
for me
is love
incarnate
April 2, 2024
in the middle of a very tough conversation
about the state of the world
and how terrible it is
and how sometimes we just want someone
[or something]
to blame,
and how that can easily take one into
conspiracy theory territory,
and what to do to actually
better
this terrible
world we’re living in —
we got on the subject of unions,
and how unionizing is one of two proven things
working within our system
that actually makes the peoples’ voice
louder
and have more power,
and i stop for a moment, and say “i love you.”
and kip asks why
[as they do]
and i respond “because you recommend that all workers under you
join or form
a union.”
my eyes still shining with love and adoration
at my manager of a spouse
[who can’t make or join a union, for conflict of interest reasons]
and they roll their eyes with love
and say
“that is the gayest
and most communist thing
you’ve ever said to me”
and i love them even more now.
March 14, 2024
a hassle of a night:
neither of us comfortable
neither of us falling asleep
[though we remain
quite sleepy]
the giggles take us,
then the frustrations,
then the crosswords
which usually lull us
instead carry us through the two-o’clock hour
of finding right answers
and finishing this past sunday’s puzzle
downstairs
with the puppy and
today’s crossword
[today today, since it is far past midnight]
to cuddle on the couch
snack in hand
trying to find where sleep might land
it finally does
[with interruptions, yes,
and puppy hassles]
but dreams do take us
eventually
dragging us
into a reasonable hour for awakeness
and here comes another
fretful
day
March 2, 2024
locking eyes
trans on trains
but it’s more than
‘i see you, you see me too’
it’s the
‘i might know you
from our silly rectangular social boxes’
and lo and behold,
check the algorithm —
there you are
and there i am, not so much sliding
but stumbling into your dms
saying, ‘let’s be friends’
[and blaming my spouse in the process]
and i’m too nervous about awkward connections
to check the reply
just yet
but i do know you have
replied
and i think that’s enough connection
for this socially anxious
ball of rainbows.
[but now the spouse wants to know…]
February 26, 2024
two new [to us] sweaters
Coogi
[or at least inspired]
rainbow-y
one for kip and one for me
wearing today —
matching
ruffled and cozy and loud and warm
maybe today will be a good day
January 24, 2024
the one
and only
good thing
about not having kip with me
for morning poetry
time
is that their chair across from mine
can be my footstool
and i can lengthen my legs up
and relax
and stretch out
and
sit how i’d like to sit
still arms on the table
still laptop directly in front of me
but with legs propped how they’d like to be
but
that is literally the only good thing
for when they need to sleep in
for when they need to be out and working
for when they’re in a different city
or even just upstairs from me
otherwise
i miss
everything
January 12, 2024
what a stressful last couple of days
what a travel/missed communication/vertigo/sleepy sleepy exhaustion couple of days
what a worry worry worry couple of days
i’m glad we’re back and together and okay.
January 9, 2024
alone with a puppy
because kip is out in st. louis —
i get to watch whatever i want
at whatever volume i like /
i can light candles
or eat something smelly /
i can clean the house
or leave it messy /
i can listen to music so spooky
in the middle of january —
but i would still rather have my kip here with me
[as would the puppy
as would the puppy]
December 10, 2023
i went to a theatrical production last night
a collection of shorts/
staged-reading
written by a friend.
it was incredibly compelling —
so much talent,
such a beautiful person and writer
but
what i will probably end up remembering from that night
is waiting for the show to start, and having no one to talk to
so instead my kip (through text) suggested i write them a letter
and so i did — remembering old letters we’ve written to each other,
times in our lives before we made one singular life together,
and through writing my feelings out, realized just how much i rely on them
[they are, after all, my emotional support kip]
and love them
so
so
so
much.
[i don’t think we had lost any fondness for each other,
but absence sure does make the heart grow fonder —
even if that absence is simply a six-hour excursion to brooklyn]
kipventures 