i’m lost in a dream
and the future as it seems
to spread out in front of
and behind me
and i still can’t get a good grasp
on the present, that’s the one thing
hidden away
lost
unfindable
irreplaceable —
the past keeps adding up
and the future is infinite
it is only the present as it is
that is only
one thing
keep on writing
keep on finding
what little things are left to find
in this world/state/city/life
and maybe, one day, someone else will want to read what you have to say
it’s
astounding
how much joy i get from video game music
and how little joy i get
from actual video games
what
in the world
is that all about?
getting up the gumption to ask for something
even if you’re completely ok with the answer being no
is the scariest thing
[or
am i more afraid
of the answer being
yes?]
fall is full of figs
and spooky season seasonings
and i’m beginning to like the autumn
because the heat of summer here sure is oppressive
and everything feels like it’s
waiting
but here comes the doing
the happening
the season that gets busier and busier
and i feel like
maybe
i can find myself
before it gets too cold
what is this morning
but a slew of words
thrown up against
a screen
waiting for me
to make sense of them
stress dreams about travel
and hotel stays
and alarm systems
and cats
and i am still so tired
and though i don’t want to go back into the dream
[admittedly, there was some kind of mystery
i would have liked to figure out]
the desire to go back to sleep
after eating some sort of breakfast
and playing some sort of game
is so strong
i’m letting myself write myself tired
rather than write myself
awake
communication
through memes
when our own thoughts and feelings
are too
too
too much
august slips in
unassuming
hot and lazy
and fading summer away
till the end when it startles us
with our first few colder mornings —
the days still heat up
but the air around us breeds
change
that we should have seen coming
i’ve been feeling the draw
to compose my own stories
worlds
universes
but that’s the extent to which
this emotion/inspiration has taken me
just the desire
not the inspiration
not the story
not the need
just
the vibe
[but i think i need a little more than
a vibe
to convince this maybehd brain
to actually
do it]
kipventures 