poem a day

April 16, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

why
do i only feel ‘good’ at something
when i’m in enough to know
the difference between
solid and not
and i’m early enough to not put undue pressure
on myself—-
but the minute i might add the label ‘professional’
i lose all self-perspective/
expect myself to be
miles better
than where i started

but i’m only me
i can only act where i’ve been
i can only write of what i know
and only let the words flow as they go
and i can’t force anything in emotional expression

so please
(i beg of myself)
let me be
and let me be me
and don’t expect perfection
because it isn’t a real thing
(and it never has been,
but that’s a lesson
for another
poem)

April 15, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

trying
to be writing
with music playing
(words wording up the place)
(but such good words
you know?)

my focus is split
(even more than usual)
and i can’t reread what i’ve already written
to see if it flows
spits
fits and starts
start me towards a real poem
one of these days
two of these days
three four, that’s all i need
to concentrate on one solid slam
of a poem written down
picked up
spat out
at an open mic
or recorded for those who truly see me
every week
(i miss that)
(i feel weak for missing that)
(but there’s no need to self-judge—
you’ve done that far more than enough)

and the most interesting part
of writing
with words
flowing behind my mind
is that i find myself rhyming with the phrasing i’m hearing
rather than the phrases i’m writing
and i don’t know if any of this
will make any sense
but i’m kinda digging
this
split-focus
un-re-read
rhyming with words you won’t hear
if you’re just reading this poem here
kinda vibe

April 14, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

what
does it all mean
why
does it all happen
and when
will it all come to blows

~~~

a little existential
but also
maybe necessary
(but also also
maybe not?)

~~~

waiting on bagels
almost here
so excited
we haven’t had them
in so so so damn long
(four
whole
days)

they’ve arrived!

April 13, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the problem with poetry
being a daily task
is that sometimes it becomes
less of an emotional release
and a little more of a chore

but that isn’t to say i’m not getting
so much out of this
daily poetry challenge
this three years [starting today] of
at least one new poem every single
day

it is to say
that i sometimes don’t know how to turn off
the poetry brain
when i need to do my every-day unpoetical tasks,
and i sometimes don’t know how to turn off
the analytical brain
when i’m writing these
tiny pieces
of art

April 11, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the puppy wants so desperately
to play with the cat
that she’s taken the hisses and bats
and invitations
and copied those acts

so now
the cat defends
and the dog reacts with enthusiasm
that the cat is not anticipating
and defends harder
which the dog takes to mean
playing harder
until she gets so excited
she spins
and zoomies
herself
away

April 8, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i
i
i
my i is stuck
(not in life
i have plenty of self-awareness/absorption
to not be in danger of that)
but the i on my keyboard
and the more i type it
[iii]
the less likely it will remain
stuck
so here i be
here i go
i i i i i i i
me me
i

April 7, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i often feel as though
something big is out on the horizon
[if only i could find it
or at least take steps to walk towards it]
and when i fall into depression
that big thing is to be feared
fraught over
fought
the ‘impending doom’ flavor of hopelessness
[and with today’s national and international news
who could blame me for
only seeing the
worst]

but recently
i feel i need
recovery
from events and happenings
that have already happened
[and are kind of still happening]
to me

i’m exhausted
and they keep occurring
and the feeling of something coming
is only getting closer
and i don’t know how i can meet it
if i’m still absorbed in dealing with
what just happened…