i wish i was better
at being a full friend
instead of a ‘when i see you’
kind of ami

i’m certainly not a
‘fair weather friend’
because i’ll stick by you
in storms and sun alike,
but if i don’t get your face in my mind
and have reason to reach out
i’ll get stuck in my head about
whether or not
me contacting you would be
an inconvenience
or remind you how long it’s been since
we last connected
and so i avoid it
at all costs
and live in my own little world of
feeling like no time has passed
like we could immediately pick up a friendship
fresh from where we left off
(just have more fodder for conversation catch-up)
but i know people change
and i don’t know how to rearrange my brain
to comprehend this fact
that everyone else seems to get
accept
move
on

but there was reason we were friends back then
i don’t see why we wouldn’t still now
beautifully get along