for a second
for a moment
for the briefest of instances
the highest tones were all i could hear
from the jackhammer working
a few blocks away
and i thought
for that tiny amount of time
that someone was continuing the holiday spirit
into boxing day
and jangling jingle bells
as hard as they could
[new york sounds are a symphony]
a play
made of poetry
an art experience
guided by the muses
turning the mirror back on
the artist himself
a connection
with a group
who might just make new york
worth staying
if
we’re staying
spotted lantern flies
cursed our existence
outside
one year ago
this year there are still some
but they seem few
and far-between
and i’m hoping that means
that we as new yorkers
got together and destroyed
[/are still destroying]
an invasive species
that hurts our ecosystem.
as many faults as i can find with nyc
from living here for five years
that is one thing i gotta hand us —
when we have a task
to better our neighborhoods
that we can all get behind — we do it
and we do it
good.
making new
traditions
making old traditions
happier
making things work
in this snow-less escape
that is our regular every day life
in new york city
~~~
down the coffee
slip off to the holiday market
grab cider/
wine/
juice/
anything
to make a mulled wine
happen
and also some stickers
and also some goofy goofs
and also
some
potential
presents
for a new
present moment
~~~
silly,
i
already
know
it took until
the night before
the last day of February
for snow to fully blanket
New York City
and that last day,
did it glisten and glow?
did it soften the world?
were there snowmen and angels about?
no.
24 hours post-semi-blizzard,
the air around it
started to melt the white stuff,
and turn it into ice over that night,
and dripping, dropping slush the next day.
what a grey and gloomy,
cold and foreboding,
proof of climate change winter
we’ve had this year
sappy poems
for new york city bakeries
of a spouse still sitting at home without me
because they’re so good at caring for our
little broken puppy
and i’m off playing as an artiste
the way i’d hoped to be
why do i yearn
for the hot hot hot climate
yet once it’s here
in my own back/front/side yard
i’m exhausted
can’t sleep
can’t wake up
walking feels like swimming
and breathing feels like dying
but i know
once it gets colder
my body rejects the climate
in other ways
(as does my brain)
so i suppose i’ll just
be a sleepy ball of sweat
for the next however many months
and enjoy not being a depressed icicle with nerve-pain
for what seems like
every
single
day
till the end of time
i didn’t think i would,
but i
felt *something*
while observing
curtain call
at that broadway theater
yesterday afternoon.
a little something
was the show itself—
pushing boundaries,
addressing hard topics,
calling in and calling out.
but another something
was simply seeing
human beings
on a stage
in front of hundreds/thousands—
a crowd
here to see
all Black faces and voices
and it being my
(technically accidental)
return
to seeing
live theatre…
auspicious?
inspiring?
fortuitous?
serendipity…
perhaps broadway is changing for the better?
—but—
while those feelings are definitely in there,
i think there was something else,
something additional…
a giant sense of
‘i didn’t let myself miss this
until right now’
i’ve missed the theater itself
physically
psychologically,
conceptually,
and i’ve missed performing on stage,
of course,
that’s in my blood—
but something in me missed
the actual
going to see
a good show
i didn’t know that about myself
until just now
and i’ll keep it
close
to my heart
the temperature
is supposed to get
all the way up to
97 degrees
i’ll be spending some time
in manhattan
so it’ll probably feel like
107 at least.
and in the subway system,
underground,
waiting for the train,
oof, maybe 137
but once i’m on the train,
the a/c blasting
will make me shiver
like it’s the middle of winter
(unless, of course, the air conditioning is broken
in whichever particular train car
i happen to enter)
(and i have to decide
on clothing
to fit all those
scenarios…)
(summer in the city is no joke)
riding that high
back to stage
i can sing
i can engage an audience
i can act through a song
i can do riffs and runs (?maybe?)
i can do all the things
i am talented
i am hardworking
i can do it
i can do it
i can do it
i am good enough
i am enough
let this be a reminder
to my future self
who does’t believe
in me
kipventures 