when one smacks a mosquito
good and full against
an arm or a leg or a wall or a table
there often remains
a dusty shadow of the mosquito
as if to say
“here is the evidence that you’ve taken a life,
now deal with it.”
nature
August 13, 2025
it always feels so strange to me
when i can acutely feel the effects of
whatever is waking me up
actively waking me up
whether it’s writing poetry
or drinking coffee
or water
just recognizing my body and brain
slowly opening up
and letting the day in
like a flower in the sunshine
[we are all far more nature
than we
realize]
August 12, 2025
playing silly video games
of nature reclaiming industry
and religion
and it is one of very few things
offering me
solace
and comfort
and peace these days
[“Cloud Gardens” is the name of this game
should you need a similar
respite]
August 2, 2025
how quickly we get used to things —
lack of sleep
un-flavored coffee
living in the woods
being around people
and how quickly we end up missing it
when, inevitably, events end
what i’m trying to say is
i miss this retreat
already
August 1, 2025
i often forget
that the sounds of the birds
can be my morning page music
and the crickets and wind and rain
can replace my podcasts
i no longer use perpetual sound
to block out my own inner voice
[that sounds like some kind of growth]
but i think i have now found myself using any auditory distractions
as literal distractions
from boredom
and i do wish i was more on board
being bored
for creativity’s sake
July 31, 2025
there’s something i know about myself
that others may not
it’s that i can always find a bright side
as long as i’m sharing the story with
someone else
got lost on a path i didn’t know well?
i got the opportunity to see bunnies and deer and one cat and two horses
and enjoy nature in a way i haven’t since
i grew up in middle of nowhere ohio
stumbled upon some uneven ground?
i am reminding myself of my rural roots
clambering over rocks and holes and
hopefully not twisting my ankle
like when i was an awkward teen
didn’t sleep well the first night of a retreat?
honestly, i’m getting back to my roots once more
adolescence
and early adulthood
and never sleeping more than an hour at a time
and waking up to see what’s happening online
[just as slow then as my service is here]
and while my younger years were not a piece of cake
by any means
and i wouldn’t want to relive them fully
getting the opportunity to rehash them with a
stronger body
and more calmed mind
surrounded by other artists…
kind of a quiet dream.
July 11, 2025 [part 2]
i can see why
people love this tree
and personify [her] to the point of
pronouns
she is something truly
living
and being,
imposing
and consoling
there is something
here
underneath her
in her shade
in her presence
that i find
indescribable
but inscrutably
here
i breathe her in
and hope she knows
all the love i bring
with me
here
to her
April 6, 2025
it’s so astounding how beneficial
the spring is to my
general
mood
i have literally been
hopeless
and helpless
for months
and then it warms up once
and i see a couple of green buds
on a couple of tree branches
and the sunlight hits
more and more of my day
and i say
“i can do this!”
April 3, 2025
birds
swooping down in
the rain
puppies
pawing at the floor
for attention
and the outside
and the inside
always have some parallels
but it’s the liminal spaces in-between
where i find my own comfort
May 10, 2024
silly plant songs
tickling my brain like they
rooted themselves inside
and are using mycelial systems to
communicate with my own synapses…
and maybe that’s actually what the human population needs —
to get back to basics
[re]connect with different forms of life
and experience the nervous and fungal systems
for what they are — siblings existing on earth
together
apart
kipventures 