trying
and trying
and trying again
and going
and running
and will there ever be a
rest?
[i mean, there just was
and i think that’s what makes this
sudden
rocket
into doing
so hard…]
life
November 1, 2025
they say to be a good actor
you have to live some life first
is the same true about writers?
they say “write what you know”
and if you know shelter and
safety and never worrying
and never feeling anything
won’t your writing be…
kinda beige?
but as a writer,
as an actor,
as a poet,
we feel things with the intensity of a human being
thrust into the sun a thousand times over;
we take our [possibly mundane] lives
and crank our imagination up to eleven;
we seek experiences to suck life from
and try to make art from the remnants…
is simply living life too much for an artist,
or is it exactly what the artist needs?
[or am i over-thinking everything]
[and isn’t that what creatives do, too?]
September 4, 2025
pondering
teaching
directing
improvising
trying new things
[and not too new new things]
and still
maybe
sewing
and writing
and reading
and playing
and flying
and learning
and living
August 3, 2025
everything in my life
seems to be
on delayed reaction time —
processing traumatic events/
pain responses to any injury/
excitement and anxiety responses/
processing temperature changes in my body/
even my damn tarot cards seem
a little too far away from the reading
to the event they foretold
to be anything less than
delayed
[but, i suppose, that’s just how my body/soul
plays this little life game]
June 28, 2025
so tired
so sleepy
so nervous
so alive
June 27, 2025
i’m standing at a precipice
a precipice of my own making
and i think i’m
excited
June 16, 2025
so interesting how
being in one’s 30’s feels
like settling into the person you
were before testing out all the other life things
i’m hungry for experiences
but i need only try something
once
and then i’m happy to go back
and just cuddle my kip and my cat and my dog
and organize books alphabetically
and wake up each morning
to write poetry
[i do wonder if this is the true 9-year-old me, but i also have to admit,
i still have that 9-year-old inside me, plus the 16-year-old who couldn’t
help but immediately drive to see friends the moment they got their
license, and the 22-year-old who just really wanted connection with
whomever would connect with me. i think it’s always been, not about
partying, but about connection. and i also think 9-year-old me
would agree.]
May 7, 2025
the days speed by
i get a glance
a flip of a flipbook
but the first few establishing shots
as i got the hang of it
went so much slower —
now they speed by
and i can’t tell if i’m missing a page
or a day
as the image on them
becomes something more than its individual parts
the still photos become a movie
the day to day becomes
a life
and i don’t like it
take me back to the days
when i could study each aspect
forever
and never knew what would happen
when it all flowed
freely
[uncontrollably]
September 6, 2024
my brain is mush
it’s creatively exhausted
not by creativity
but by
life
May 29, 2024
do i really
truly
actually
need someone to tell me what to do with my life?
[especially because, when told, i struggle being beholden to other people
and end up resisting every step of the way]
why does my brain make no sense to me?
kipventures 