kip

December 10, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i went to a theatrical production last night
a collection of shorts/
staged-reading
written by a friend.
it was incredibly compelling —
so much talent,
such a beautiful person and writer

but

what i will probably end up remembering from that night
is waiting for the show to start, and having no one to talk to
so instead my kip (through text) suggested i write them a letter
and so i did — remembering old letters we’ve written to each other,
times in our lives before we made one singular life together,
and through writing my feelings out, realized just how much i rely on them
[they are, after all, my emotional support kip]
and love them
so
so
so
much.

[i don’t think we had lost any fondness for each other,
but absence sure does make the heart grow fonder —
even if that absence is simply a six-hour excursion to brooklyn]

November 27, 2023

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the Kip Day tradition
of exchanging gifts
instead of only one giver and one receiver
makes birthdays seem so much more bearable
and puts less pressure on the birthday person
to like everything they’re given

and the Kip Day tradition
to make it a whole week
extends the birthday joy long before and past
what could be a big let-down
of so much expectation on only one day

and the Kip Day tradition
of calling birthdays Kip Days
and calling the week of exchanges
Kip Day Week
makes me feel
even more grounded
even more happy
that i found my Kip
and my Kip found me
for our sillies are so much in tandem
and even when they are not, we still vibe
we still ride
we are still allied
just us against everything

September 4, 2023

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sudden raindrops
out of a halcyon sky

[so cloudy
it mimics
a deep clear blue]

one drop
then two
then a few
only on me
only on me

until they start to fall
on kip
and computer too

and we walk
swiftly
(but don’t run)
back home
to enjoy this summer storm
in peace
and
coverage

August 11, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the spouse
and i
have begun evening exercises
with video game kickboxing.
and we love it,
for strength/
for cardio/
for cute couple-y things to do together
in the privacy of our own home
(so no one can judge
our sweaty-red faces
but each other)//
but the cutest thing
about this endeavor
is that, due to game limitations,
lack of working controllers,
and opposite busted shoulders,
kip and i play as one person—
me on the right
kip on the left—
to share in the successes
and failures
of our one digital avatar.

and if that isn’t a perfect example
of disgustingly cute gay love,
i don’t know what is.

February 14, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i haven’t really thought of
Valentine’s Day
in so long.

as a child it merely meant i’d probably get candy
that day
in school
(which, i’ll admit, was pretty cool).

as a teen,
highly aware of my own diverging sexuality,
i only saw loud reinforcements of
heteronormativity
and having that binaried bullshit shoved down my throat.

with Kip, the year they wooed me, they sent four presents
on one Valentine’s
(keep in mind we were not even officially dating at that point)
a song
a string of lights
a website
and origami roses.

and yes, we used to go to the melting pot,
or grab oysters,
or have some sort of dinner;
but COVID and coziness
and now our Valentimes look more like any other time.
but i don’t worry
because we still get excited in the morning to say
“Happy Valentine’s Day!!!”
to each other

December 20, 2022

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ten years ago
i
was bored at my home

ten years ago
i
felt community thirty minutes away
(at a college i never attended)

ten years ago
i
called out to my friends to see
if anyone would be
excited for me
to come hang out that evening

ten years ago
i
happened to [re-]meet the love of my life
and this time we were both ready
available
and actually looking
pondering each other for
conquest
and connection

but

it is not this day that we count
as our official anniversary

ten years ago today
was a preamble
a flirtation
a stuttering step towards
a beginning

tomorrow
will be the actual anniversary:
that post-midnight
that coming together
that “end of the world”
that, even if it did actually end,
and this is all a simulation in someone else’s head,
at least we got a chance to meet and be together
ten years ago
the best thing that ever happened to me
was
you

and for the past ten years
that has continued
to be
true

July 21, 2022

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listening to lovely music
(modern classical, in case you’re interested)
chatting with my Kip over coffee
about workers and wages
and contemporary conveniences
and whether ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ rhetoric
came out of union slander
or not

a regular morning in this
household