February 5, 2025

this poem will
[likely]
take the place of the poem that was supposed to go
on my silly poetry blog
yesterday

and though i am not writing it
on the date it says at the top
it is still a poem i am posting here
[and i did, technically, write poetry yesterday
just not quite enough
and nothing i felt was
whole
enough
to post]

and what did i do yesterday
that prevented me from writing
all 300 of my poetry words
and taking the time to post
my silly blog post writings?

i had conversations
with my kip
the love of my life
as we enjoyed a distraction from
morning everyday routines
and the terror that is happening everywhere
while we dealt with the terror of
bodies
not cooperating
and puppies
asking to play
[that one’s not a terror though,
that one there is
absolutely delightful]
and just had a bit of a reset
with communication
and a bagel
and a fig bar

so that’s what i did yesterday…

what will happen today?

January 30, 2025

video game music
and pondering strange dreams
and trying to hold the countdown
to the hour after next
still
so i can have some more chill morning time
with my kip before they need to leave
again [this time into the city]
and i need to go upstairs
and talk about my
~feelings~

[ugh]

September 3, 2024

the puppy’s barks are sharp
as she tries to get her ball out from under the radiator
and asks me to help her,
but the cat is on my lap
and i cannot give up this comfort and heat
on this chilly morning
after dropping my kip off at the airport
for a work trip, so we must endure
her plaintive wails
and scrambles to get the toy herself —
that is until i realize
she may need a similar comfort
as her kip is gone too

nevermind, she got the ball herself
she’s practically a grown a-dog now

July 18, 2024

taking time from poetry
to pat the cat on my lap
or encourage the puppy to play with her ball
or say random sentences to kip about
the randomness in my brain
[what i usually use this poetry outlet to express or explain]
which all makes for great connections
but not necessarily good morning writings

April 24, 2024

a night without my kip
is like seventy nights with only two hours’ sleep
is like all the comfort of a big bed and no cover for warmth to keep
is like relying on noises to lull you, and finding nighttime in extreme silence
for the first time
ever.

a night without my kip
is not a night of
rest.

April 19, 2024

i love my kip’s little head nods
of a great beat —
the impulse to dance
while sitting and programming at the table —
there’s only so much you can move,
so kip moves
their head in a nod
as if to say
“yes
yes
yes
this beat
is
yes”

January 24, 2024

the one
and only
good thing
about not having kip with me
for morning poetry
time
is that their chair across from mine
can be my footstool
and i can lengthen my legs up
and relax
and stretch out
and
sit how i’d like to sit
still arms on the table
still laptop directly in front of me
but with legs propped how they’d like to be

but

that is literally the only good thing
for when they need to sleep in
for when they need to be out and working
for when they’re in a different city
or even just upstairs from me
otherwise
i miss
everything

January 15, 2024

vertigo
springs out of nowhere —
nausea
then dizziness
[then both]
[don’t underestimate them
together]
we feel for past kip,
we feel for louka,
we feel for current kip
as they navigate these rough seas,
this daily drammamine
this unknowledge of what will make things
a little better/
a lot worse
[cold packs/movement of any kind/egg drop soup/screens/ginger tea/overheating]
contemplating
how to work in a world
this way

waiting

for a day
when the vertigo might
go away

[go away!]