taking time from poetry
to pat the cat on my lap
or encourage the puppy to play with her ball
or say random sentences to kip about
the randomness in my brain
[what i usually use this poetry outlet to express or explain]
which all makes for great connections
but not necessarily good morning writings
kip
April 24, 2024
a night without my kip
is like seventy nights with only two hours’ sleep
is like all the comfort of a big bed and no cover for warmth to keep
is like relying on noises to lull you, and finding nighttime in extreme silence
for the first time
ever.
a night without my kip
is not a night of
rest.
April 19, 2024
i love my kip’s little head nods
of a great beat —
the impulse to dance
while sitting and programming at the table —
there’s only so much you can move,
so kip moves
their head in a nod
as if to say
“yes
yes
yes
this beat
is
yes”
April 11, 2024
watching Kip
the day before their birthday
assemble legos
and read fun facts and trivia
about the plants they are re-creating
with little plastic bricks
for me
is love
incarnate
January 24, 2024
the one
and only
good thing
about not having kip with me
for morning poetry
time
is that their chair across from mine
can be my footstool
and i can lengthen my legs up
and relax
and stretch out
and
sit how i’d like to sit
still arms on the table
still laptop directly in front of me
but with legs propped how they’d like to be
but
that is literally the only good thing
for when they need to sleep in
for when they need to be out and working
for when they’re in a different city
or even just upstairs from me
otherwise
i miss
everything
January 15, 2024
vertigo
springs out of nowhere —
nausea
then dizziness
[then both]
[don’t underestimate them
together]
we feel for past kip,
we feel for louka,
we feel for current kip
as they navigate these rough seas,
this daily drammamine
this unknowledge of what will make things
a little better/
a lot worse
[cold packs/movement of any kind/egg drop soup/screens/ginger tea/overheating]
contemplating
how to work in a world
this way
waiting
for a day
when the vertigo might
go away
[go away!]
December 10, 2023
i went to a theatrical production last night
a collection of shorts/
staged-reading
written by a friend.
it was incredibly compelling —
so much talent,
such a beautiful person and writer
but
what i will probably end up remembering from that night
is waiting for the show to start, and having no one to talk to
so instead my kip (through text) suggested i write them a letter
and so i did — remembering old letters we’ve written to each other,
times in our lives before we made one singular life together,
and through writing my feelings out, realized just how much i rely on them
[they are, after all, my emotional support kip]
and love them
so
so
so
much.
[i don’t think we had lost any fondness for each other,
but absence sure does make the heart grow fonder —
even if that absence is simply a six-hour excursion to brooklyn]
November 27, 2023
the Kip Day tradition
of exchanging gifts
instead of only one giver and one receiver
makes birthdays seem so much more bearable
and puts less pressure on the birthday person
to like everything they’re given
and the Kip Day tradition
to make it a whole week
extends the birthday joy long before and past
what could be a big let-down
of so much expectation on only one day
and the Kip Day tradition
of calling birthdays Kip Days
and calling the week of exchanges
Kip Day Week
makes me feel
even more grounded
even more happy
that i found my Kip
and my Kip found me
for our sillies are so much in tandem
and even when they are not, we still vibe
we still ride
we are still allied
just us against everything
September 4, 2023
sudden raindrops
out of a halcyon sky
[so cloudy
it mimics
a deep clear blue]
one drop
then two
then a few
only on me
only on me
until they start to fall
on kip
and computer too
and we walk
swiftly
(but don’t run)
back home
to enjoy this summer storm
in peace
and
coverage
August 11, 2023
the spouse
and i
have begun evening exercises
with video game kickboxing.
and we love it,
for strength/
for cardio/
for cute couple-y things to do together
in the privacy of our own home
(so no one can judge
our sweaty-red faces
but each other)//
but the cutest thing
about this endeavor
is that, due to game limitations,
lack of working controllers,
and opposite busted shoulders,
kip and i play as one person—
me on the right
kip on the left—
to share in the successes
and failures
of our one digital avatar.
and if that isn’t a perfect example
of disgustingly cute gay love,
i don’t know what is.
kipventures 