February 22, 2024

half of my self
wants to run around
and have adventures
and meet only new people
and hear stories
and create more
and never ever ever stop
moving

and the other half of me is so comfortable
having a night in
television blaring
but not staring into a screen
instead cuddling up with my kip
or embroidering
or organizing bookshelves
or cleaning
just the menialest of menial tasks
feeling
so satisfied

but whenever i do one
i feel fulfilled for a bit
until i hear the other option
calling to me

and the only place i find i can fully balance out
is in sleep

when my physical self is at rest
and my imagination is bursting

[i really need to write more than poetry sometime]

December 9, 2023

the shuddering of my muscles
behind my right shoulder/
the lats
the connectors
that make my arm
go
the aren’t as annoying
as some flutters
as some spasms

maybe because i can just imagine
they’re my wings finally coming in

October 28, 2023

my eyes droop
heavy-lidded
with sleep not-yet forgotten

dreams hold me in their vice-grips
and i can’t escape
even what i can’t remember

i once asked someone what some part of my personality
meant in terms of the rest of me
and they stated, very plainly, that i don’t live in reality
(at least not when i can help it)
and i completely
agree

June 16, 2023

do you ever feel like
you just want to slough off your old skin
your old life
your old entire being
and start anew
in a new body
with a new brain
in a new situation
perhaps a whole new universe/
dimension/
something/
anything
i just feel
antsy
in this life
sometimes
(maybe that’s why
i am drawn towards
acting
reading
writing
the things we do
to imagine whole other lives
anew)

May 28, 2023

the same imagination
that skews to
worst-case scenarios
and all the dire ways
we could all be fucked
in this society of ours

is the same one that shows me
there’s more to life than just
consumption
and
competition,
that encourages me to find
better solutions to terrible problems,
that proves to me
there are better
more equitable
more humane
societies
than this…

every coin
has two sides
this sword
has both edges
black must stand out amongst white
and we all know yin
and yang
aren’t balanced
if they’re not
together

[but sometimes i wish
this imagination would just
let me rest]

January 5, 2023

it’s only hitting me now

we are in a brand new year

the possibilities only end with your
[and society’s]
imagination(s)

and even then

some folks push the boundaries
of societal borderings
think outside the box
and only become trapped when they exhaust
every [im]possible way out
and still
try

i’d like to be that kind of
creative

September 14, 2021

stress and
apprehension and
a desire to make these poems
go somewhere.
i’m constantly plagued
haunted by
itching with the possibility
of a full story
expanding
under a reader’s nose
(what was that one book?
Green Angel?
something like that?
where it was poetry
that unfolded
into a complete story?)
and i want these Morning Poems
to tell my story,
but how can they
when my story isn’t done yet?
i may be right at the beginning
i might be hella in the middle
but one thing’s for certain:
life is messy
and stories are good or bad in how they’re told,
not the stories themselves,
especially when they’re true
honest
nonfiction.
it’s the fiction that gets the nice, neat bow at the end;
life blurs around the edges
try hard as you might
to color inside the lines
so embrace the chaos
cacophony
quandary
(and, of course, let your imagination ride out
the potential
of telling a portion of this story
your story
in this form you’ve happened upon…
maybe there is a way to tie up
the loose ends
of a fraction
of your tale.
in fiction,
of course)