too tired
to write
too tired
to move
too tired
to sleep
but maybe
just maybe
just tired enough
to dream
imagination
March 21, 2026
there is a blue lagoon offset from the sea
that calls to me
that calls to my ancestry
but we gave up fins and tails
and gills and frills
long ago
so very long ago
so i dip my two separate legs inside
and lean my bony back beside
and look at the storm clouds racing
and i think about the oceans rising and rising
and whether i can take back a deal made centuries ago
was my great great great great great great great grandmother a fool
or did she know something then
i can’t possibly know
now
[just as now i am so highly aware
of things she’d never even dream of]
but all i can do
until i meet someone who
can exchange this blessing-turned-curse
is sit and lie and dip and swim and wish
beside this blue lagoon
separate but still somehow part of the ocean
[how can i bring myself back to that part of me
or will i always remain so
separately]
March 14, 2026
pretend
you have
nothing
pretend
you have
everything
now which one
would you
spend time in
[i honestly think
the nothingness
creates even more imagination
from it
and i would maybe
enjoy it
immensely]
March 10, 2026
my own imagination
is a fickle, fickle place
sometimes a comfort
sometimes an anxiety-ridden nightmare
full of all the fuel i put into it
over years and decades of
self-hatred
and self-loathing
and self-harming
and imploding
and all i thought i’d want to accomplish
and all i still want to do
but am frozen to
the spot when i try to try
maybe
as with the imagination
i just need to keep on
gently
trying
and exploring
till i find a neat little [abandoned] space
and sit inside it
for a while
March 9, 2026
imagination
figments fleeting by
a socked foot slipping past the corner of your eye
an echo of your own voice, continuing on and on and on
and the raptured words of someone you don’t even know
swimming in your
mind
~~~
i suppose i’m doing
exactly
what he invited me to do
[which is pretty cool]
~~~
if i can’t explore
abandoned buildings near me
i can at least explore
the abandoned ruins
of my mind
March 8, 2026
the rapture didn’t come like how we’d been taught
we thought
standing around
perhaps asleep
perhaps in prayer
we’d
just be levitated from our bodies
up
and up
and up to heaven
instantaneous
immediate
immaculate
but the rapture took so damn long
trekking from old homes to new ones
each more dilapidated
less clean
than the last
there was very little sleep
and even less prayer
towards the end
crossing borders
swept into vans
when least expected
[i suppose at least that one
was instantaneous
and immediate]
[but the insides of those vans
could hardly be called
immaculate]
and now here i am
being told that this final step
is the real rapture
but haven’t i been told that
for each step of the way
i’m starting to stray from my faith
and this tiny cup of gross-smelling liquid
barely coated by some sickly sweet scent
over top of it…
i thought the rapture was something that would happen to me
but it looks like i happen to it
i control it
but maybe
just maybe
i’m sick of all this rapturing
maybe i wanna try my luck, after all this time, with the heathens
February 16, 2026
feeling like i just want to fall asleep
and stay asleep
at any given moment
of any given day
and is it depression?
is it the exhaustion of an
active allergic reaction?
am i just a little bit less
energetic
than the average
person?
could it be something i’m not even thinking of
yet?
or do i just want to spend my days lost in my own imagination land?
[and
could i bring that imagination
into my own waking
writing
life
sometime?
soon?
please?]
November 16, 2025
but, should i want to write a book,
what book should i write?
should i re-write my first ever finished novel?
try to make it less about what i needed to hear
[and say]
at that moment in my life, and instead keep
the characters and their journey
and clean it up a bit
for a more
general
consumption?
should i try to finish up the novel i started
recently
with magic at its core
with a [relatively] scientific explanation
should i create my silly idea for a choose your own adventure novel?
should i write the fairy story of a person writing a fairy story
that they need
[and i probably do, too]
should i instead focus on play-writing?
or putting together a collection of
already written poetry?
i think i want to fall into a novel
like i did five years ago…
maybe that first option
really is
the way
to
go
April 14, 2025
children
and philosophers
wonder at the wonder of the world
children
and writers
imagine all the what-ifs
children
and actors
inhabit others’ stories
children
and tinkerers
mess around with physical objects
to see what can be done
i don’t think that it is only one kind of person
or profession that
keeps the “play” alive
from childhood
the key is simply to find a way
to keep your own childhood loves
going and going and going
so you never
lose them
September 22, 2024
the disappointment i feel in my own government
in my own daily interaction with the people of this country
or even the world
maybe i should start writing fiction more
just to be able to be around the people i enjoy
and in spaces where i’m not
constantly hounded by the existential depression of
“this could be so much better
but it just
isn’t”
kipventures 