it always seems to be
the most uncomfortable room
that folks congregate into.
the coldest,
without squishy chairs,
(or distractions
from family
from conversation
from time spent together).
and we can’t help it
if
this is the room with the best table
for poetry-writing,
for programming,
and closest to the coffee machine
for an endless supply of
refills,
and the room where there is space
for projects,
for light saber lessons,
and where the view is the sunniest
and most green
family
November 25, 2021 (part two)
there are sad firsts:
first thanksgiving without big family
first thanksgiving without talking with my dad at dinner
first thanksgiving spent traveling
and then
there are the fun firsts:
first thanksgiving with Kip’s family
(first time all family and partners in one place at one time)
first thanksgiving solidly baking pies all day
(instead of just treating it like a social get-together)
first thanksgiving learning new traditions
(ones that the rest of the kids know so well they can recite lines from memory
before the muppets even start speaking)
and
first thanksgiving that i’m doing my best
to
appreciate family,
but hold them accountable,
and to remember the root of the ‘first’ ‘thanksgiving,’
and everything/everyone this country is built
on top of.
November 25, 2021
the parade
the family
the performances
the silly dancing credit cards
the soldering
the excitement
the traveling
the traditions
(new and old)
here i come
here we come
here i go
here
we
go
November 24, 2021 (part two)
Family means so much
to so many people
my genetic relatives profess
Family
as the utmost of all people
those who have your back no matter what
the only humans you can truly count on
(most of them still live within a thirty minute drive of each other to this day.)
my friends, my community, unaccepted within their blood kin
find Found Family
to love them
without reservation
without expectation
without conditions
and count on each other
i am lucky enough to have both
blood and non-blood relations
who love me
unconditionally
but that brings with it
division of time
of love
of feelings
of celebrations
(and it is only the Family from birth
who saw me grow as i did
which is sometimes a good thing
and sometimes a not so good thing;
and there are memories,
sometimes lovely
sometimes hard
when in their company)
but
there is an awfully grand sense of growing
when i am able to fully help with the labor
i only ever messed up or ignored
as a child;
and to be able to pass that on to
the children younger than myself…
that feeling, it’s
Indescribable.
November 24, 2021
shorter time for
Morning Poetry
equals
more time for
Family Hangouts!
(but i still need the Morning Poetry time
to be able to be a person
among Family)
November 22, 2021 (part two)
more driving
more music
more memories
more food
more family
[more time?]
(((…less internet)))
November 22, 2021
the joyful teasing
the conviviality of being around each other
the discussing
planning
problem-solving
the sharing, watching, playing
the family.
~~~
observation;
my downfall
[/upfall?]
~~~
can i
just
be good at acting
[on my own]
without needing such guidance
to stop overthinking?
[please???]
November 21, 2021 (part two)
the difference
between
these two families
(i think/i observe)
is the feeling of being happy just chilling around each other
vs.
the need to be on/entertain/give 100% attention
(and i wonder why i never really parallel played as a child)
November 18, 2021
the stress
and hassle
of planning for a family visit
is made all the more complex
in this time of COVID.
we [the family] are all vaccinated,
but half of us work
(or have worked)
in healthcare
so we know,
we know.
so is it worth
the 8+ hour drive
with dog?
is it worth traveling
(however carefully)
through some places with
less than stellar rates?
is it worth
even going
if we have a cold?
(every illness now is
a moment of pause
even if we know it isn’t
a coronavirus)
and with the family
not all that enthused anyway
should we again,
like last year
say next year?
[next year]
[next year]
September 3 (part 2)
nature:
turkeys
sleeping bees
talk of ticks
pine cones
sandstone
and
sunlight
and shade
and everywhere in between
broken branches
stampeeded weeds
dewy wet grass
and the great expanse of sky and clouds
not nature:
massive amounts of coffee
protein bars
pink and purple hair dye
tiktoks and youtubes to pass the time
plastic bottle spray paint art projects
frozen twix bars
zoom workouts
and online ordered Indian food
mix the two
and you have a solid foundation
for a much-needed mini-vacation
[with the fam]
kipventures 