August 7, 2026

connecting to ancestors
perhaps my own, if i know they were
whole
and not assholes

but ancestry is not just about dna
it is also about identity
non-blood relatives form found family
and found family becomes the ancestors
we wish we had when our own submit to
or uphold
white supremacy

being a good ancestor for future generations
is also about finding good ancestors
for yourself today

[note: it took me a while to come to this conclusion
and i’m still learning the nuances,
because it is not just about disavowing yourself away
from relations you don’t want — that is where
the ‘becoming a good ancestor’ comes in
choose your ancestors
choose your ancestry
and choose how you show up and speak out
for those your bloodline may have committed such atrocities against
they have little to no bloodline today; you don’t have to take responsibility
for everything done, but for goodness sake, don’t perpetuate a cycle
you don’t want out in
the world
or in your
legacy
your future
ancestry]

July 28, 2026

a lovely family weekend
memorials and libraries
and beaches and movies
and good good food

always too short of a visit

but at least there are visits

[and monday evening facetimes
even when we’re both so tired]

we have known each other
a damn long time, after all
after all

April 17, 2026

kip is home!
kip is back!

literally
everyone
in this house
[including kip]
is so happy they are home!

the puppy snoofed and kissed and croodled
the cat hasn’t left the couch by kip’s side
for more than a few minutes

and i have been in a far more
relaxed state
feeling more like myself
with my kip by my side

[and kip feels the same
with me by theirs]

it’s so strange and beautiful to have found
this wonderful little family

July 25, 2024

wearing my Grandmama’s jean jacket shirt,
the one that was probably too big for her, too,
with a stain on the pocket that she hid with some cool embroidery —
a design around the initial she went by
[her full name was “Mary Jane” but she went by “Jane”
for as long as any of us can remember]
and because i’ve started going by my initials,
i knew i could easily add a little “H” on one side
and a little “F” on the other of this giant “J”
and it would look intentional, like the rest of the design,
and i could claim this as my own —
and wear it not as a hand-me-down
from the Grandmama where i got my middle name, but as a
continuation of the lineage
of Jane
and J
and the art of embroidery
and family
and everything…

June 11, 2024

cool
cool
make me feel worse
about myself
about my quirks/my faults/my worst
habits and have them describe my whole self

awesome
perfect
exactly what i wanted from my one close family member
left

April 8, 2024

the world turns
rotates
and expected bright and dark
bright and dark
bright and dark
interrupts
the brightness of the dark
blocking out the daytime
for a moment
for a few minutes
the birds quiet
the spouse pauses work
and we look through two pairs of sunglasses
as the family group chat in cleveland
explodes
with iphone photos
and pictures of dslr cameras
alike
showing totality
showing what i could have seen
if i’d traveled for the experience

[still not quite as cool as a few years ago
when i observed even less totality
while flying on my moon-shaped lyra
outside and sunglassed and free]

October 12, 2023

i just wanted to say
how much i love my whole
family

true, they aren’t perfect

(but no one is)

and there is so much love
and listening
and care
here

Grandmama gave us that
Grandmama started it

and we continue it

onwards