playing and experimenting
and stretching and folding
and walking and posing
and it almost
almost
almost felt like madison
again
aerial circus
June 15, 2026
living in one world
or another
splitting my focus
when one takes over
the other needs to take a backseat
and sometimes
because of how much i love each thing
a backseat feels like
it fell off the vehicle
entirely
but i turn around
and pick it back up
and gently place it
front seat and center again in my focus
until the split needs to happen once more
it’s hard loving so many things
so many activities
so many lives
[but it’s only ever hard on the focus needed
the actual amount of love i have is
absolutely limitless]
March 23, 2026
belly aches
and
too much fun
and
paying for it all the next day
March 5, 2026
my body feels like it is
about to fall completely
apart
and i simply hope it stays together
for one [or two] more circus lessons
and an evening voiceover class
after all that
it is welcome to
fail
because friday is the day
i have a two hour massage booked
and hopefully
hopefully
hopefully
that can put me back together again
[or at least break my body apart
in such a way
that fitting myself back
goes the right
way]
September 30, 2025
once
a very very very long time ago
my parents
[who are, in their own right, a couple of kooky characters]
offhandedly mentioned to me
that i was such a weird being,
once i found someone who liked me
for me
i’d better hold onto them
and though i took it as a point of pride then
[and still kind of do now]
i’d be lying if i said it didn’t impact
my own personal perception of self
and value
et cetera
et cetera
et cetera
but i think
that’s why i’m drawn
and secured
here in aerial circus
this feels like the hobby
that saw me in all my wild and strange glory
and said “that one, we like them
we’d better hold onto them”
and so i clutch back on
even tighter
to circus
August 31, 2025
the pain in my arm
has never harmed me
in the air
this bothersome little
strain
on the tendon
is only ever annoying
when writing
or scrolling
or holding
or driving
it never affects me while flying
which is nice
but
it does make me think that
my bod just wants to be a circus performer
and nothing else
nothing
“normal”
at least
June 23, 2025
fascinating
to be so devoted
to encouraging folks
to join the circus
because, for me, circus means
a place where our human bodies
are the art — they become the
strength and ability we never thought we’d have
the magic of human feats
and humanity
is how i see
the circus
but i know
that’s aerial circus
modern cirque, if you will
traditional circus
[though i do love the music and the costumes and the vibe]
has a horrible history
of exploiting animals
[and people, honestly]
in troubling conditions
[to say the least]
and the word “circus”
to an elephant
may be
complete
and utter
trauma
May 8, 2025
creativity streams from me
from my fingertips to a computer screen
from my acting choices to an audience’s eyes
from my body on a circus apparatus
and i feel
almost
creative
October 30, 2024
away from the physical activity
that brings me joy
that saved my life
in more ways than i probably even know
prevented
by pandemic
by fear
by perfectionism
by injury
by overuse
by depression
and i just can’t seem to catch a break
though i’m trying so hard
to take a break
take a break
take a break
so i can get back to it
maybe
again
with the love
and passion
and joy
that i once found
July 1, 2024
flying
flying
flying
all aerial
is flying
all aerial
is playing
but
the high/dynamic kind
of flying trapeze
of cloud swing
especially
is playful
and feels like true
flight
to me
kipventures 