here we are
working[auditioning]actor
less time for
writing
more time for
figuring out
[im]perfectionism
actor
May 16, 2025
performing
anxiety
anticipation
excitement
fear
hope
acting
for better or worse
it was my first training
it was my most training
it is the time that i feel the most myself
on stage
even with the
anxiety
and fear
there is always still
anticipation
to excitement
to hope
[if you’ll be in nyc
tomorrow, may 17th,
come on out!]
May 8, 2025
creativity streams from me
from my fingertips to a computer screen
from my acting choices to an audience’s eyes
from my body on a circus apparatus
and i feel
almost
creative
March 12, 2025
i really don’t know
what i should be doing
when all is in limbo
and my mind flails out for
something
anything to do —
if i should be going out for roles
clearing out those spiderwebs and
putting my acting brain to task
if i should be writing more
and speaking up against power
with the words my fingertips
help me find
morning after morning after morning
if i should be using my body
in the ways i’ve learned
so recently — power in muscles
consistently picking up my own bodyweight
for fun
for art
for staying fit
in imminent societal collapse
but when i can’t figure out what i should do
i tend to mend things that need mending;
i darn my own and my spouse’s socks,
i close up a hole the puppy has torn in her
cheaply-made and roughly-loved toy,
i patch up jeans
and other pants,
and make art out of scraps,
and maybe that’s the “should” in all this
uncertainty —
make sure we
are not as beholden to consumerism
as we very well could be
May 9, 2024
pretend
you’re a regular human
with normal wants and desires
fears and loves
and then think about your situation
but that’s just acting, isn’t it?
i’ve spent so much time in my head
with the what-ifs
and the ‘how would i play that
if i were in that
situation?’
and the
trying to observe my own responses —
but what if my responses are so out of the ordinary
that i’ve been trying to act
with my own feelings
in a way that is
disingenuous
to the human condition?
[i know, i know,
i’m human,
but damn, does it not feel that way
a whole damn lot of the time]
September 3, 2023
queer
people
in positions of power
in the film industry
(at least the parts i’ve been a part of)
always help
create an atmosphere
of love
and respect
and care
and what the industry
could be
June 16, 2023
do you ever feel like
you just want to slough off your old skin
your old life
your old entire being
and start anew
in a new body
with a new brain
in a new situation
perhaps a whole new universe/
dimension/
something/
anything
i just feel
antsy
in this life
sometimes
(maybe that’s why
i am drawn towards
acting
reading
writing
the things we do
to imagine whole other lives
anew)
February 4, 2023
acting
theatre
the arts
they are art
but they are also my job
and so i view them as such
otherwise
i get too overwhelmed
i get too anxious over everything
so if i treat them as a career
a necessity
an activity i’ve done so much i could probably do it in my sleep
they don’t hold power over me
and then i can do them
better
January 31, 2023
poetry-ing
from the midst of a theatre
audience left
stage right
home
for so many years
conceptually
this place
specifically
home
for the next week
[or so]
December 3, 2022
what a weird week
said multiple people these past seven days
not necessarily bad
(nor good either)
just
weird.
and i have to agree;
going from being terrified to submit to anything,
theatre/
film/
voiceover/
experimental/
at all
(for fear of the inevitable
no-reply rejection)
i submitted to three things in two days
and got auditions for over half
(still have to audition,
but damn
does it feel like
the relief
of crawling out of a ravine
but looking up to see
more walls surrounding you
again)
man
i chose this.
kipventures 