October 2, 2026

i love doing things with my hands
creating and crafting and seeing something come to fruition
with only my fingers and a few fibers to start
and i love creating with my mind
and using letters and words and language
and the simplest of things build whole worlds
and express emotions i never thought i’d be able to express
and i love being physical
creating strength from my own muscles
creating an audience reaction through my own movement
and stage presence
and i love organizing
creating a sense of order where
once there was none
and i love acting
taking only my own experiences
and creating a whole new person
from others’ words
and my empathy
and some research
and guidance from a director
and reactions from fellow actors
and i think the conclusion this poem is giving me
is gifting me
is that everything i love has a sense of creation
and that could be the biggest aspect
of the things that i love
that i love the most

September 17, 2026

i wish i could bottle certain feelings
and uncork and inhale them when needed

last night i had a moment of utter bliss
looking around, watching adults and artists
puppeteering giant buffalo around a warehouse in brooklyn
everyone concentrating
everyone knowing
it’s an illusion but also a very real spirit
that makes this whole herd work

it’s art and community and hope and strength
and imagination and wisdom and belief
and i damn near cried because i couldn’t believe
this is real life
this is better than i could have imagined
my time on earth
would be spent

helping native persons
helping the earth

with art and performance and everything i have ever wanted to do

i suppose i’m inhaling that bottled sense again this morning
writing about it
trying to express with words what words cannot express
but can, perhaps, capture a sample
or imitate for future use

for when i feel lost

for when i feel depressed

for when i have no hope

i can remember one hundred and sixty? seventy? eighty? people
some inside a puppet
some outside observers
learners
like me
all with one goal in mind: create conversation
for the betterment of everyone on this planet
every person, human and non-human,
and doing it with
art

art that took teams and teams to imagine and map out
and build and construct
and put final touches on
and doctor and make better
and teams to map out routes and talk with other groups
and performers and city officials and advertise so more people
will see and continue a conversation we are creating
we, this team, all voluntary, all wanting to bring to life
this art, this stampede, this dream,
this imagining

this honoring

i hope those who see from the outside tomorrow and saturday
see what i saw yesterday
feel what i felt yesterday

that it’s amazing to be
here
now

with people
with buffalo
with hope
with art
with life

let us let the earth continue to provide this magic

let us help the earth

let us help the magic

August 15, 2026

i want to sing
and create my own music
and learn to speak french
and act in everything
and read audiobooks
and write my own
and sew
and embroider
and create my own clothes
and have my own youtube series
and cosplay
and learn how to calm down my perfectionism
and perform on a broadway stage
and continue to circus like my life depends on it
and i feel like i have not enough time in one life to do it all
but i know other people who do
so maybe i can do
at least some things
if i start
and continue
and really really really try

February 17, 2026

the day after a show
but so much happened
on top of it

a meeting
a surgery
an emergency allergy reaction
[not mine tho]

and i can hardly revel in the feeling of the show
[or
even berate myself for
not promoting it
more]

except for the moment
i stayed in the moment
afterwards
talking
with the lovely lovely people involved

i think they’re all so rad

and i’m so glad
i got to tell them so

February 7, 2026

i have had
quite the busy
busy week
and today is the day for
resting
and chores that have been waiting
for at least a week
if not more to
be done

and this may end up being my week
from now until
who knows when

but i’ll keep trucking
i’ll keep doing
until i find myself
trying
something different

[i still want to write more than anything
but i can never think of anything
to actually write
about]

November 1, 2025

they say to be a good actor
you have to live some life first

is the same true about writers?

they say “write what you know”
and if you know shelter and
safety and never worrying
and never feeling anything
won’t your writing be…
kinda beige?

but as a writer,
as an actor,
as a poet,
we feel things with the intensity of a human being
thrust into the sun a thousand times over;
we take our [possibly mundane] lives
and crank our imagination up to eleven;
we seek experiences to suck life from
and try to make art from the remnants…

is simply living life too much for an artist,
or is it exactly what the artist needs?

[or am i over-thinking everything]

[and isn’t that what creatives do, too?]

June 29, 2025

perhaps my desire is to educate
perhaps my destiny is to entertain
perhaps i just need to make folks aware
that the issues seen here and there
are systemic
systematic
and sometimes
on purpose

because the problem with conspiracy theories
is that there is a fine, fine line
between a theory about something crazy
and a retelling of something
that has actually happened
to a non-white person
in the past
[and, honestly, today]