September 5, 2021 (part 2)

original plans
were a rush
(similar to the original plans
to arrive)
but i’m being gentler on myself;
i’m allowing myself the option
to be late for things
(so long as notice is given ahead of time)
and to miss things
(again, if i make folks aware)
these are classes
they are for me,
i have paid for them
and can do with them what i choose,
i am not forever barring any potential job
if i am fully communicative
and give advanced notice
and arrive prepared when i do arrive.

because we’ve seen too much
devestation
and death
in our short lifespans
than is probably good for the mental health
so i can’t justify
freaking out
about making every single appointment
when sometimes
you need to drive a little slower in the hurricane rains
or wake up a little later
to get [as close as possible to] that full night’s rest
and have plenty of time to say goodbye
to your fam
and relax
(as much as your anxiety-riddled mind will let you)
so that you can soak up
all the lessons
in the audio-book playing
and dog sleeping
and spouse-chatting
and your own mind wandering
and wondering
and planning
and conceptualizing
and safely driving
to get to your destination
of
back
Home.

September 4, 2021

can i concentrate?
should i hang out in Cleveland today?
how long will travel take tomorrow?
can i make my class?
why is my main/sole deciding factor
in most/all things
how it will impact others
instead of knowing at all
what do i want?

(at least this bird clock
still amuses me so)

September 3 (part 2)

nature:
turkeys
sleeping bees
talk of ticks
pine cones
sandstone
and
sunlight
and shade
and everywhere in between
broken branches
stampeeded weeds
dewy wet grass
and the great expanse of sky and clouds

not nature:
massive amounts of coffee
protein bars
pink and purple hair dye
tiktoks and youtubes to pass the time
plastic bottle spray paint art projects
frozen twix bars
zoom workouts
and online ordered Indian food

mix the two
and you have a solid foundation
for a much-needed mini-vacation
[with the fam]

September 3, 2021

this chocolate muffin
is
hitting the spot
just right
tonight
(nah, it’s morning,
just kidding)

and there’s a gorgeous gnome
just beside me
lips painted
a stunning shade of red
to match the hat

and the coffee i’m drinking
may not taste subtly of blueberries
or vanilla from France
(is that what French vanilla actually is?)
but it is coffee,
it is caffeinated,

and apparently
this morning
what i needed more than anything
was hella sugary breakfasts
and hella caffeinated coffee
and a gorgeous gnome beside me.

September 2, 2021

there was a moment,
a whole slew of moments,
a good month or so,
when everyone was staying indoors
trying desperately
to stop the spread,
and magic occurred:
the air cleared of smog
and wildlife returned to where it hadn’t been seen
for ages
and nature began reclaiming
her[/their] right to this earth…

and for a pessimist such as myself,
this brought a huge abundance of joy to my heart;
i’d like nothing more than to save this planet,
give each creature on this earth the right and respect to this land
as we once had
[yes, i am including us in that we]
[though we being humanity, probably/possibly not we being my particular race]
to actually be as equal as nature created us
but…
if we really have been as terrible for this planet
as i expect
and we do in fact go through a mass-extinction event
[moreso than we are going through now]
it brings comfort to my heart that nature can reclaim
so quickly
so easily…
i still worry about each individual bird and dolphin and seedling
[and human being]
but it comforts me a little
to know that, as a whole
maybe we haven’t made such an
unerasable
footprint.

September 1, 2021 (part 2)

i feel
as though
i am the observer
the storyteller
the tie-togetherer
when it comes to global climate change;
i travel
and watch
and observe
and i see the Bronx flooding
and Brooklyn flooding
and then i travel away
from the concrete and subway tunnels and solid architecture
to the malleable lands
hills and valleys and mountains
of Pennsylvania
and i see the flooding of that countryside
ditches
becoming creeks
becoming rivers
becoming flooding alerts all over the roads
every hour or two another alert in on my phone
knowing it’s the aftereffects of a hurricane
and seeing watch-warnings for tornados
seeing the sky go dusk-dark at 1pm
and open up, finally, to the brightness
of 6pm
as we drive out of the stormclouds
heading where we had been…

i am aware that nature is unpredictable
and that storms like these often happen in a lifetime
but i’ve now lived directly through at least three ‘one in a lifetime’ storms
(and watched probably 20 others from afar)
and i am
worried.

September 1, 2021

uncertainty
turned excitement
turned apprehension
turned…who knows

at least i’m still in
‘go with the flow’
mode.

~~~

the rain pouring
feels apocalyptic
though no such apocalypse has yet to take hold onto a whole nation
just whole communities,
whole cities,
whole states…
[or are we simply feeling immune
because our whole country
is so damn huge?]

~~~

quick and dirty
morning poems
so i have time
to get quick clean
before heading out
not away from the storm
but deeper into
(solely for the sake
of dogs
and nature
and family)