all of the poems
that were in my head
have escaped
Author: HJ
November 1, 2021
November
my birth month
November
the start of the race to the end of the year
November
the beginning of chilly weather without the distraction of spookiness
November
this time last year
i started a novel
and succeeded in writing a bunch
of it
every
single
day.
will i succeed again?
October 31, 2021
sunny Halloween
the most wonderful time of year
the spookiness will arrive tonight
(i’m sure of it)
but right now
i simply enjoy
fall
seasons
decorations
music
and
being married to a fellow spooky-season-lover
~~~
[it did,
it did,
it did arrive in the nighttime;
with so many costumes,
and flickering skull lights
casting shadows on half-buried {faux} skeletons,
and running out of candy
{eek!},
and sudden downpours
reflecting headlights in puddles on the ground,
and shuddering lights
which could be loose circuits
but i choose to believe
it’s our ghosts
traveling through the electicity,
and of course
our Halloween cat
chasing the ghosts
away]
October 30, 2021
i live a very inconsistent life
but
i need a consistency
(just a singular one)
in order to
thrive
(or at least survive)
October 29, 2021
opening up my heart
little by little
to these strangers on the internet
[what have i/will i have
done?]
October 28, 2021
doing so much
yet feeling like i did
so little
doing things
is all fine and good
but when it comes time to talk to people…
healing takes a while
healing takes a long long time
healing is about more than just ‘feeling better’
October 27, 2021
i keep writing
and writing and writing
and writing and writing and writing and writing
and i feel like i’m saying
just absolutely
nothing.
October 26, 2021
rain pouring
pounding
on our new (to us)
(though, in actuality, quite old)
(and yet not as old as the houses we grew up in)
house.
and clearly this little building has withstood
rain
and storm
and hurricane
and wind
and whatever else…
but it’s the big droplets on the a/c unites
that stick out of the windows
is really what
keeps me
awake
October 25, 2021
there is not enough season
in spooky season
i’d like it to extend
from september 1st
till thanksgiving
(i mean, we could go until new years)
(or even all year ‘round)
(that’s the real gay agenda:
spooky season all year ‘round)
October 24, 2021
i’ve been writing and deleting
for a few days now
[and drawing and erasing]
and i know this happens
no matter what;
it is inevitable at some point
to need to re-create
in order to finish a creation
but i’ve been starting and immediately stopping,
each burst of creative energy is met with
“ehhh…maybe not…”
to then need to forge a new path
ahead
and i am unsure if this means i am having trouble following a complete path
or perhaps i’m simply noticing earlier where paths will not lead
or maybe it means i’m putting everything down on paper[screen]
when i initially start
instead of editing myself in my head
whatever the reason
[be it “good” or “bad” or “neutral”]
it doesn’t stop the “now”
from being quite frustrating
every time.
