help me see —
one and one and one make me
less likely to spend time outside
but more likely to desire that vitamin d/
sunlight hitting my pasty skin
i see only lobster burn
i see only carcinogen —
but knowing i could be out
knowing i could walk about
that is enough to balance out
my extreme depression
into something more equivalent
to simple summertime sadness

(but
what happens
when the weather turns
again?)