all of the poems
that were in my head
have escaped
writing
November 1, 2021
November
my birth month
November
the start of the race to the end of the year
November
the beginning of chilly weather without the distraction of spookiness
November
this time last year
i started a novel
and succeeded in writing a bunch
of it
every
single
day.
will i succeed again?
October 30, 2021
i live a very inconsistent life
but
i need a consistency
(just a singular one)
in order to
thrive
(or at least survive)
October 27, 2021
i keep writing
and writing and writing
and writing and writing and writing and writing
and i feel like i’m saying
just absolutely
nothing.
October 24, 2021
i’ve been writing and deleting
for a few days now
[and drawing and erasing]
and i know this happens
no matter what;
it is inevitable at some point
to need to re-create
in order to finish a creation
but i’ve been starting and immediately stopping,
each burst of creative energy is met with
“ehhh…maybe not…”
to then need to forge a new path
ahead
and i am unsure if this means i am having trouble following a complete path
or perhaps i’m simply noticing earlier where paths will not lead
or maybe it means i’m putting everything down on paper[screen]
when i initially start
instead of editing myself in my head
whatever the reason
[be it “good” or “bad” or “neutral”]
it doesn’t stop the “now”
from being quite frustrating
every time.
October 23, 2021
will i ever find my own voice
my pattern of poetry
my own way of writing
a style all my own
in this poem-a-day-venture?
do i even want to?
i want to find my own style
while drawing
because right now my “style” is simply
me not really knowing what i’m doing
and trying things out
and fading limbs when they err too close to the hands
and to the feet…
but i generally know what i’m doing
with writing
(or at least i was formally trained
for a time)
(though that doesn’t necessarily mean
anything
at all)
a style in visual art
to me
would mean
i’ve achieved choices
and a way to be recognized
and a general idea of what i’m doing
(and doing it with purpose)
but a style
in poetry
to me
would mean
pigeon-holing me
into one particular mode of voice
and this cacophony of styles
i suppose
is my choice
(and i guess,
at least right now
i do with a semblance
of purpose)
October 18, 2021
just atop a grain of rice
it makes my laptop all
wibbly-wobbly.
and something so small
that affects so much
has to be a metaphor (right?)
(ok, granted, my laptop is far closer to the size of the grain of rice
than say
myself
or
the universe
but still,
size-wise
it is quite
small.)
so
what great insight can i gain from this
“rice under the laptop”
experience?
perhaps to always look for the root cause of an issue
and to not judge too harshly
if the core issue seems
“too small”
to affect that much.
or maybe the lesson here is to simply
clean off the table
between meals and morning pages.
October 15, 2021
wasn’t i complaining
yesterday
or the day before
(or the day before that)
that i wanted to get back to my
regularly scheduled schedule
and continue on in my routine of routines?
so why, now, comfortably sitting in
‘we’ve taken the dog out,
we’ve started the lofi beats spotify station,
we’re both at the table, doing our morning writings’
do i miss
so terribly
the hustle
the bustle
the never knowing what’s going to happen
from one moment to the next?
oh!
did i just need a cat in my lap?
this portion of my routine,
my every day,
my comfort and creativity,
that had been missing
pretty much
since we moved?
(even tho i do stop every few lines
to pet and love her
so she stays,
she still really does
help me
feel
the morning page
poetry
routine
i’d been missing
[and then immediately
got bored of].)
(she is the chaos
that i need
to appreciate
routine)
October 14, 2021
sometimes you have to eat
and read
before you can write and wake-up
and sometimes you have to just do the things you have to do
before writing that to-do list
and sometimes you need to look at where you’ve been
before going where you’re going
and sometimes you just have to cuddle your cat and dog
before being human.
October 13, 2021
sit down to write
sit down with millions of thoughts floating through your mind
sit down with the plan to get them all out and before you on the screen
ebbing from your fingertips onto the keyboard, seeing the magic as they appear…
and yet
(and yet)
sit down to write
and suddenly
the thoughts stop
and the fingers rest gently on the home keys
and the writing, it just does not come the way you thought it would.
so
start writing about not writing.
start writing about the expectations versus reality
start writing and end up with kind of a silly pattern before you on the screen:
a word or phrase
expansion on that word or phrase
another expansion that then makes each line longer than the last
(do that in threes, at least, and boy will it be visually appealing [for you at least])
but then
you have to ask yourself
is this the poem you want up on your poem-blog?
kipventures 