writing

December 2, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

beats
plus
birds
wake me up
put me in the mood
to be a person today.

~~~

just because i seem to have
lost my love for morning writing
does not mean
that i have lost all my love
for just writing

(maybe i just need a nap
like yesterday)

~~~

what to do
in a morning
where one feels so off
but so close
to being
On?

~~~

the birds in my music
meld
with the birds outside
and i am reminded
of
Costa Rica

~~~

maybe someday
i’ll listen to music again
maybe someday
i’ll put together playlists upon playlists upon playlists
maybe someday
i’ll know exactly what i want to listen to
maybe someday
maybe someday…

~~~

the cat stares
at nothing
(or is it a ghost?)
alert
eyes huge
but alas
she turns away before
i can write a whole poem
about her
stance

December 1, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

go to bed late
in order to relax at least a little
while awake
(after tough, tough decisions are made)

wake up early
in order to get your spouse
out the door
off to work
(in person)

finish some chores
accomplish some goals
take care of the every-day to-do things
and then

NAP

in order to wake up
cuddled with your dog,
splashed with streaks of sunlight,
rainbows dancing all around the room
floating over your skin,
feeling like this is a Day,
not a trial, a burden, a slog

(and then,
write
it
out.)

November 29, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m feeling
settled
[not settling]
comfortable
in my own skin
in my place in life
content.

this is not an emotion i am familiar with
at all
but it’s nice to know it can come to me
every once in a while
(and maybe, just maybe,
this settled/comfort/contentment,
can propel me towards my next
endeavor.)

~~~

i feel like
i don’t do
Morning Pages/
Morning Poetry
the same as i used to,
but that could be ok.
maybe there are days when i need
to write/poem it out,
and those are the days when my word count
lands solidly into the mid-three digits,
and there are a few days when i know what i need to say
and one short poem
is all i need for the morning,
and then there are days like today
when i don’t need to write to figure things out,
but i’d like to write to
have something written
(and also because i’m figuring out how to be awake)
so i suppose
it’s all
alright.

~~~

someday
i’ll count all the hobbies
i’ve acquired
over the years
(and those with supplies
but no real forward movement)
but for today
i’ll say
i’m happy i have a spouse
who keys into my ever shifting hobbies
(and also flits in and out of their own)
so soon, this house will be filled with
wood whittling projects
and perhaps even a soldering pencil!

November 24, 2021 (part two)

/ HJ / Leave a comment

Family means so much
to so many people

my genetic relatives profess
Family
as the utmost of all people
those who have your back no matter what
the only humans you can truly count on
(most of them still live within a thirty minute drive of each other to this day.)

my friends, my community, unaccepted within their blood kin
find Found Family
to love them
without reservation
without expectation
without conditions
and count on each other

i am lucky enough to have both
blood and non-blood relations
who love me
unconditionally
but that brings with it
division of time
of love
of feelings
of celebrations

(and it is only the Family from birth
who saw me grow as i did
which is sometimes a good thing
and sometimes a not so good thing;
and there are memories,
sometimes lovely
sometimes hard
when in their company)

but

there is an awfully grand sense of growing
when i am able to fully help with the labor
i only ever messed up or ignored
as a child;
and to be able to pass that on to
the children younger than myself…

that feeling, it’s

Indescribable.

November 21, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i always forget
before leaving on any sort of
vacation
just how much i will
miss
new york city.

~~~

what to do
what to say
what to write
what, today?

~~~

is sleeping
in one’s
childhood bed
truly as relaxing
as it seems?

(i’ll check in after another day or so
to inform of my personal findings)

November 17, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i don’t know how to talk about anything
other than
everything that happened yesterday
and i don’t even really know
how
to talk about everything that happened yesterday
[but somehow
i must]
[?]

November 8, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there are so many facets of myself
that i wish were truly true
i want to be the tragic ending,
the too good for this world
the died much too young,
and i want to be the puck
the trickster
the bringer of chaos and of all unknowns,
and i want to live long long long,
and i want to be arson
and i want to be fairy
and i want to be cryptid
and i want to be house spouse
and i want to be parent
and i want to be cool aunt/uncle
and i want to be chestless
and i want to float between and above and around and absent and outside of…

but if i’m to believe Rain, what we do is truly part of us,
so does that extend to the wants as well?

November 3, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

coffee
is the most important meal of the day
coffee
brings me joy in an otherwise too dark/too cold portion of the morning
coffee
is the time i get to spend with my spouse, writing in parallel, making up words and worlds right beside each other.
coffee.