August 17, 2022

chill morning
chill music
moving info
both satisfying
and
frustrating
at the same time
[when/will it ever end?]

~~~

but my butt
hurts
when i sit in chairs
like a normal human
/
when i try to sit in chairs
like a normal human
and my body instinctively inclines itself
further and further leftwards
until my [right] butt hurts more
than it initially did
so i should just start
sitting
like the queer that i am
to avoid
further
injury

~~~

writing
in fits
and starts
(or starts
and starts
and i wonder where the fits
fit in with
this chill morning
of mine)

August 16, 2022

i should have known
that the answer wasn’t
‘both’
when asked if i liked to work more with
details
or
big picture
things,
simply based on my reaction to being presented with
either.
when asked to look at minute details
i feel like i’m being laid into a giant warm bed
that fits me perfectly
that itself cuddles back.
and when being presented with
the big picture
i’m overwhelmed to the point of
panic attack

~~~

this
computer
is on its last legs
(or its last keys)
the multiplying of vowels
has at least tripled
(except for the rare occasion
when a letter simply
doesn’t)
but now the delete button
and space bar
are on the fritz
and a few consonants
are also acting awry
and i
think should just bite the bullet
and let Kip transfer my things
over to the new [to me] laptop
but this machine is where i wrote a novel,
and this is where my Morning Poems started,
and i took all my zoom classes
here,
and it feels like
an end to an era
when it’s simply
upgrading to the next model
and i
need to stop worrying
about losing all my things–
Kip knows how to transfer
and i’ve saved in at least two different places
and i should trust technology
some day
(maybe today?)

~~~

my body
and brain
just want to go back to
adjusting every little date
on my transfer
from goodreads to storygraph
because tiny details
and mindless tasks
feed my soul
like pudding;
filling it with empty calories
that i know should go
after a full meal
(of poetry-writing, perhaps?)
but i secretly just want
to eat sweets
and do teensy tasks
whenever i feel
any kind of
hunger

August 15, 2022

interesting choice
in Morning Poetry tactics:
the internet-perusal,
the procrastination by other necessary tasks,
the avoidance—
but also the placement/
routine/
you can’t get out of this one
just by watching your animals
interact,
or taking multiple breaks
inside this very poem
to drink half your coffee
and listen to the music,
the poetry will come
whether or not you want it
(but you want it—
otherwise
why
would you have made this challenge
and just kept on
challenging
yourself
month by month
week by week
day by
day
?)

August 14, 2022

i did it
i performed my own poetry
i read it out loud
for people
and the people
felt
emotions

is this another aspect
of poetry as the opposing side
to prose’s analytic/logic basis?
is poetry’s purpose both
to come from a place of true emotionality
but also
to affect the reader/listener
empathetically?

and how do i come at this craft
from such a brainy/overthinking origin
just to affect those i’m reading to
so profoundly in the feels?

August 13, 2022

to write
or not to write
on this day
of performing
my own poetry
live
for the very first time

that sure is the question

~~~

can coffee
really do for my creativity
what it already does for my
comfort
and
awake-ness
and routine-building?

~~~

Oven Puppy
appears in reflections
all over our walk
and the puppy
(our puppy, Computer the Puppy)
wants to know:
is Oven Puppy nice?
how did Oven Puppy even get into our oven?
why does Oven Puppy always mimic Computer’s movements/
barks/
danger tail-poof?
how did Oven Puppy get inside the college windows at night?
and will Oven Puppy ever come out to play?

——————————————————————

The show is today, virtual, 2pm Eastern, and free
for tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/321018253237

August 6, 2022

someday
i’d like to write
like the words were
rolling off my tongue-
tied to find the perfect
letter/syllable/sound/
the pound-ing in my ear
shifting from
pain and pressure
to a rhythm underneath
every
word
every
word
every
word
i say

July 30, 2022

does writing
get easier
the more i do it?

no.

does it at least get
more
intuitive?

no.

ok, but does it
seem like
it’s part of me,
like i could finally call myself
a ‘writer’
after writing
every single morning
since early 2020/
after finishing
a first draft
of a whole novel/
after keeping up
with this
daily poetry blog
for 470+ days?

kind of…?

July 16, 2022

my brain
is not retaining
a track this
morning

and i’m worrying
and resting
all at
once

but the flow
comes and goes
and i have no way to
figure out what
is happening
and where
it is
go–
ing