writing in a way that felt hard
but turned easy
because i [apparently] have
a lot
to say
[the hj story]
writing in a way that felt hard
but turned easy
because i [apparently] have
a lot
to say
[the hj story]
write
and write
and write and write and write
until you’ve exorcised all the demons
inside your own mind
it’s always
so interesting
when the poems i start to write
are not
the poems that end up
written
too tired
to write
too tired
to move
too tired
to sleep
but maybe
just maybe
just tired enough
to dream
as i write
and write and write
throughout my life
i wonder what it’s all about
who it’s all for
if it’s all for me, that seems
statistically
a little daft
for there are billions of
people on this planet of ours
and even more that have come before
and will join us
after we are all
gone
so to write for only one life
that feels
foolish
but again, the human condition is such that
writing truly and honestly
for yourself
often makes happenstance happen
and many many others
see themselves in your
words
so to write for others
in a way that makes others feel seen
you need not think of the others
[you must not think of the others]
else the writing comes off as
cliche
or trying to hard
or pandering to an audience
i can’t stop myself from thinking of an audience
even as i write these morning poems
daily
daily
daily
that i doubt even i could ever get through
on a re-read
i can’t help but wonder
if someone will love reading my words
with as much care and mild obsession
as i took writing them
[or is that not true — i’m not really careful
or obsessing
as i write these
every
single
morning — i’m flinging them
stanza by stanza
out into the ether
and hoping they catch the eye
of someone
who needs them]
making sure i write
and write and write
until all the words i’ve written
are poetry
or at least something like it
and i’ll have something to post
and something to read
in the future
when/if/when i reread everything
looking for something
that may
might
perhaps
stand the test of time
the internet is absolutely packed
with everything
with hatred and inspiration and foolishness and memes
and i saw
once
a piece of advice that said
[approximately]
“don’t stop writing, you’re in the middle of creating
someones favorite book.
don’t
stop
now!”
and i think about that
from time to time
because we never know what we’ll end up being
to someone else
and, though i can’t imagine my writing
being someone’s absolute favorite, i can see it
impacting
in a way i didn’t imagine
and for that reason
i suppose
i’ll keep going.
or needn’t poetry have a point?
we’re all just bumbling through
in these systems we’ve created
everything is made up
and maybe
that’s why i create
[because i’m not allowed to make whole new systems
so i make words fit my needs
rather than
the other way around]
[or something]
poetry-writing
poetry-thinking
poetry-mulling and pondering and shirking
duties to home and work
in order to write and ponder and mull and think
and write some more
i really do need to
see if anyone else would ever
want to read these silly poems
where do i even start to look
when i don’t have a social media
in which to peruse
and obsess
and screenshot
and never ever ever apply to?
got lost in my own story
the other day
invigorated and interested
and utterly captivated
[at least within that first section]
there were issues with the next
that’s true
but tiny edits only needed
in the top which
needed few
and i just wanted to learn/read
more
that was cool
that was cool