November 11, 2023

my fear
is so loud
that i’ll write about something
i don’t understand
and offend
or embarrass
[others/myself in that order]
and rather than trying
and learning
i hide
and hide harder
and hide longer
and hide farther into myself
just wanting
wanting
wanting
to write
but never doing any of it in sight.

November 10, 2023

sometimes i write poetry for the page
tapering each line down just a
little bit lower so that
aesthetically it
pleases

and other times i compose rows and rows of possibilities in my head
waiting for the right syllable to fit in
and taste so good as it fills my mouth
with alliterative qualities
i can’t imagine life without
and rhymes and mines of tongue twisters
laying in wait, waiting to trip up an unsuspecting mouth
but it all settles into something that i can chew and spit spit spit
out
with a rhythm all of my own making
all of my own devising
all of my own words
humbly arriving
as they should

but

most of the time
i create for
both

November 9, 2023

i wish
i wish
i wish
i didn’t make myself cringe
with every thought or written word or
every kind of close to rhyme

i just want to create art
that doesn’t care about being art

[that is the purest kind]

November 8, 2023

what you need to understand
[‘you’ in this case meaning
a new reader to this poetry blog]
is that i do not write poetry
carefully
i do not rewrite and rerewrite and rererewrite —
i throw some ideas on my keyboard
and sometimes they become words
and sometimes those words fit together
just enough
to become a poem.
i don’t write with purpose
except to get more and more art out into the world
[and get these loud loud stanzas out of my head]
i don’t write for perfectionism’s sake
since perfectionism runs/ruins the rest of my life.
what you need to understand
is that this will never be
e.e. [cummings]
or dickinson [comma] emily
or bukowski
or angel nafis
or rupi
[though my shorter poems definitely emulate her]
these poems are rarely edited
barely re-read
not much adjusted to page from my head —
there’s no rhyme scheme
except
what sometimes fits together happenstance-ily,
and helping the chaos
reign itself in
is what i’m doing with these words
again and again and again —
so please,
heed my warning,
don’t expect much literarily from these words/phrases/stanzas/poems —
but expect me to show up
as i am this [and every] morning
and get something out
from me
to myself
[and then to you, if you want to read it]
[no pressure tho]

November 6, 2023

i’m feeling so at odds with my own writing this morning
like it’s a morning for reading, not creating
but i made a promise to myself —
my morning pages are for myself
to just get out what needs to get out
[and it’s ok if the posted poem for today
was not actually written today
but
i do have to write *something* today]
so what is actually in my head this morning?

November 4, 2023

it is kind of wild to me
that art in and of itself
is simply an invitation to
s t r e t c h
any truth we may want to share or inhabit

[any pureness for accuracy
may or may not be
entertaining/
good art anyway

so why not craft reality
to your individual
liking?]

October 24, 2023

let yourself be cringe

let yourself make you cringe

it’s not just about not giving a shit
what others think

it’s also not giving a shit
about what you yourself
think about yourself

no one’s opinion matters

not even your own

just be

and be

free