January 20, 2026

yesterday it was so easy to write
and write and write a whole ass poem
in one sitting
i just sat down
and did it
and this morning, the struggle is the
realest of real
and i can’t seem to even think of a subject matter
to write about, much less actually
write
it
and i
am simply adding word by word
by
word
instead of going with the flow of the poem
thinking line
and stanza at a time
and i’m
simply
frustrated
at myself

January 15, 2026

still haven’t done much
morning poetry writing
this morning
[none at all
yesterday
morning]

but that’s ok
that’s ok

it’s just a personal goal
and the point is to write
and eventually catch up

i can easily do that after therapy

or in the evening
if i so choose

[or even tomorrow]

it’s just me
it’s just for me

it’s all ok

it’s all ok

January 8, 2026

maybe time to write
maybe time
to
not

but all i know is
i have tea
beside me
and music
coming from this apparatus
on which i write these words
and i could write for another hour and twenty minutes
or i could
not
and it wouldn’t make much of a difference
for anyone other than
myself

but for myself
it could make
all the difference
in the world

January 6, 2026

sometimes i write things
and i can follow my own train of thought
like “ah, i see this scent/song/experience
reminded me of this other one
and now i gotta work backwards
through poetry
to find all the connections, but they’re there
i see them
clear
as
day”

and then there are times where i’ll just random write words
and even then, sometimes, the underlying meaning
or at least the underlying inspiration
is right there for me to see
clearly

and yet
there are other times
[like very very recently]
where i’ll write a thing
and it’s like my fingers had a mind of their own
and i’ll look at the poem
and think to myself
“what the actual fuck?”
“where in the multiverse did that come from?”
“am i even in the same body as these appendages of mine???”

but i suppose that’s what makes poetry
kinda fun
sometimes

December 28, 2025

i’ve always used poetry
to warm up for writing prose

but last night i wrote prose,
and this morning feel invigorated
to write poetry once more

and perhaps it is not the type of words i type
but instead simply the act of writing itself
which warms and invigorates and excites me
for future writings

[perhaps
perhaps
perhaps
i can call myself
a writer]

December 20, 2025

sometimes
subjects will mull around in my brain
for days
weeks
maybe months
[sometimes years]
before i write them down
in poem form

it’s like steeping a tea full of thoughts
so that, when i go to write it, it’s actually flavorful enough to taste

and perhaps taste is the way words come to me
[i do care about mouth-feel]
and expression is as much about
the emotion
as it is
the explanation

so the next time i’m pondering a subject matter
and think to myself “why haven’t i written it out yet?”
i can just answer
“it’s still stewing
still steeping
still brewing
give it time
give it time
it’ll taste better
with a little more time

[have you ever
not
written it out?]”

December 12, 2025

i wonder
if i whiled away my morning hours
finding the rhymes
and alliterations with time,
if i’d feel more
connected/
more a part of/
more in line
with my silly morning poems —

if i seriously sat still
thinking of the perfect line
the perfect rhyme
the perfect kind of poem to
express
and impress
and decompress
and perhaps then
i’d force my poems on others

[but, as it stands now, i can only make that happen
for like half to two thirds of a full poem,
and then i let go the pretense, and get back to the words
that just make sense
with my morning brain]

October 1, 2025

turn off the brain
turn on the writing
turn on the morning
the focus and the words
that mean nothing
that mean everything
if i don’t think too hard
if i don’t think hard enough
if i simply stop thinking
maybe these poems
may make sense
eventually]

September 14, 2025

not feeling the morning page poetry
this morning

but that doesn’t mean
i won’t do it

i mean

i continue to do this
every
single
morning
whether i’m in the mood or not
just to have something to do
just to have a habit to latch onto
just to have some proof
to say
‘i was here, i had thoughts and feelings and insights, too’
and maybe someone will read them soon
and maybe someone will read them in hundreds of years
and maybe
because they’re all digital
they’ll disappear into the ether

but

maybe the ether will get a kick out of all these poems

and they and the void can talk about me
behind my back
when i’m long long long gone