two panic attacks
[or something like them]
in one month
after years of fair avoidance
i cannot tell if something is
going on
inside me
or if it simply the strain
of the external forces
of the world i cannot control
[but still affects us all]
or maybe
maybe
it’s the strain of january
of winter
when i can never see the light of spring
at the end of the proverbial
tunnel
just give me one crocus blossom
one sprig of green
not these mountains of slush-snow
and lows below zero overnight
i need something
something
something to keep me going
this has been the longest january i’ve seen
since wisconsin
kipventures 