february has already lasted
a hundred years
when will this longest short month
be over?
february has already lasted
a hundred years
when will this longest short month
be over?
it blows into february
the air of awful anticipation on its wing
the cold burning even colder
than january’s sting
at least there’s snow
from the first month’s storm
whitening the ground
providing [minimal] distraction
from second month’s
curse
two panic attacks
[or something like them]
in one month
after years of fair avoidance
i cannot tell if something is
going on
inside me
or if it simply the strain
of the external forces
of the world i cannot control
[but still affects us all]
or maybe
maybe
it’s the strain of january
of winter
when i can never see the light of spring
at the end of the proverbial
tunnel
just give me one crocus blossom
one sprig of green
not these mountains of slush-snow
and lows below zero overnight
i need something
something
something to keep me going
this has been the longest january i’ve seen
since wisconsin
look at it snow
look at it snow
the frozen, wet wet droplets, careening down to the ground
with all their friends, with all their friends,
coating our new york city
with a wintry wonderland mix of
wet and beauty
white and sludgy
and making me feel like
i’m almost ready
for the rest of this season
[but only if it’s going to be
this
gorgeous]
december is really hitting me like
a ton of bricks
being transformed quickly into feathers
[i still have some bruises, and some pokes,
but all in all it’s the suffocating stuffing that’s
hitting me rather than the pounding of existential pressure, so
at least that’s…
different]
March has come in
like the lion it is —
bringing one day of relief,
and then an evening of terror,
followed by a morning
where, once again, it hurts to open my eyes
outside
let’s hope it does
go out like
a lamb
the house plants shine a little greener
against the dreary outside sky
in the winter months