i am a softie
made of choked up feelings
and barely hidden tears
and stories will almost always mist my eyes
but a thank you to a supportive partner
from a trans-masc autistic person
will straight up give me
the weeps
weeping
March 4, 2023
have you ever just
sat down and felt
the overwhelming urge to weep?
yeah, me neither…
April 23, 2022
breathe through
the pain
and the guilt
and the hard moments of missing
and soak in
the memories
and the change in yourself
you’ve seen
over the last 7.75 years
she taught you
well
how to be a good dog parent
and you taught her
well
how to see she was already
such a good dog
~~~
Kip writing down
all the memories
of Louka
is such a sweet thing
and has helped them
i don’t think i’m in a place
just yet
to write my memories
without weeping
(and that’s ok;
Kip’s words have such a beautiful balance
of intrigue
and comedy,
even in the saddest of parts
there is still so much humor there,
as gentle as the dog was)
so Kip can [and should] have their moments
with memories
and prose
and i can talk through poems
and photos
piecing together my remembrances
pixel by pixel
and ponderment by ponderment
and we are each grieving
and remembering
in our own ways
and loving
in that way
that is so very Kip;
wholeheartedly
(just like i wanted)
~~~
oh boy
the tears
they seep out
of my sockets
with only a half second’s warning
and they feel
today
like good tears.
December 25, 2021
it’s Kipmas
we say
thirteen days
of a love language
trying not to fall into the pits
of the deep despairing depression
this time of year
usually yields
but also trying not
to avoid it;
if i need to mourn
the happiness and joy
of a home full of life
that now only seems to house
(or maybe that’s just my impression)
then that’s ok.
if i need to cry
that this year feels so weird
(especially now
that it’s actually
precedented)
and there’s such simple way(s)
for folks to avoid
overwhelming an already overburdened
healthcare system,
then that’s ok.
i’m not thinking in poetry right now,
it’s not morning
(my usual time to write)
and i’m full with Finnish food
and i feel both antsy and tired
at the same time,
itching for adventure
but longing to stay home
for (possibly) ever
this time of year
is weird
and often brings up
a whole shitload of emotions
(and these last two years more than ever)
but that’s ok.
feel your feelings,
even indulge;
too much is asked of us
at this time of year;
expectations abound
and you can take a moment
or a day
or a week
or a month
to just
sit
and
feel.
(and if i need to have a total breakdown
right as i try to post this
and instead weep for hours
and back-post it
from the 26th,
then i’ll do that, too.)
kipventures 