September 25, 2026

how has it only been one week
since we stampeded
through lower manhattan

a week ago this time, we still didn’t know what it was like
to be inside our buffalo for two hours
going
and going
in humidity so oppressive
i sweat more than i ever have
in my life

a week ago this time, we still had training to do
and things to learn
and choreography to go over

a week ago this time, we still felt inside it
did not know what it would seem like
from the outside
what the actual event would be like
how the public would react
honestly, how we would react

how has it only been a week?

how was it only one week?

how was it only one week to train and learn and form community
and honor and become alive become a herd
get to know our particular bison so
that they each got names and were loved
absolutely loved
by each and every puppeteer?

i often joke that i don’t understand how time works
that it’s wibbly wobbly
that it’s not linear
that it’s quangled
that it’s a mortal construction
and that time is far beyond our mere understanding of it

but damn

one week feels like too long and not long enough

and an entire eternity can take place in one week
in one two hour chunk
in one moment of a styrofoam eye glancing towards
a toddler who screams “the buffalo looked at me!”

memories make our own infinities

and i hope, for everyone who experienced the buffalo
they can look back and live in a memory
for as long as they need

for even longer than the week it took to make them come to life

[i should look up how long it took to physically make
each and every
one…]

December 13, 2025

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

July 23, 2025

how can some songs
slap me in the face with memories
that i never wanted to see
again

and yet

some songs feel like
the best bear hug
from a friend
you haven’t seen in
ages?

the comfort/misery line
is razor thin

[and sometimes appears in
the middle of a measure]

but damn, these songs still slap

May 16, 2023

flash of a memory
(why is it almost always driving)
rocky river to lakewood
bridge over the
metroparks valley
the color salmon pink
(was it a house?
an apartment building?
the color of the sky in sunset?)
riding along
early lessons
late hangouts
always right on time for rehearsals
the flat expanse of northeastern ohio
spreading a suburb out in front of my eyes
somehow gorgeous in its
midwestern gothic/
abandoning the american dream/
passenger seat
then driving, driving, driving
knowing a portion of that street so well–
but the memory starts farther back
a path i only drove a
handful of times
farther back
farther back
seeing the road i took
seeing the memories out in front
seeing to the side where my grandmother survived
(i wish i had asked her more questions about her life)
why are my memories
still so full of
other
memories?

February 8, 2022

listen
to the same song
6, 8, 10 times in a row
memorize the words
memorize the favorite moments
(the parts of the song that make your brain go
‘brr’
)
and still adore it
listen to it some more the next day
and the next
and the next
until you know it like the back of your hand,
you could write essays, diatribes, theses about the song
and then wonder why it is
certain songs
bring up
certain time periods of your life
so viscerally