December 13, 2025

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

July 23, 2025

how can some songs
slap me in the face with memories
that i never wanted to see
again

and yet

some songs feel like
the best bear hug
from a friend
you haven’t seen in
ages?

the comfort/misery line
is razor thin

[and sometimes appears in
the middle of a measure]

but damn, these songs still slap

May 16, 2023

flash of a memory
(why is it almost always driving)
rocky river to lakewood
bridge over the
metroparks valley
the color salmon pink
(was it a house?
an apartment building?
the color of the sky in sunset?)
riding along
early lessons
late hangouts
always right on time for rehearsals
the flat expanse of northeastern ohio
spreading a suburb out in front of my eyes
somehow gorgeous in its
midwestern gothic/
abandoning the american dream/
passenger seat
then driving, driving, driving
knowing a portion of that street so well–
but the memory starts farther back
a path i only drove a
handful of times
farther back
farther back
seeing the road i took
seeing the memories out in front
seeing to the side where my grandmother survived
(i wish i had asked her more questions about her life)
why are my memories
still so full of
other
memories?

February 8, 2022

listen
to the same song
6, 8, 10 times in a row
memorize the words
memorize the favorite moments
(the parts of the song that make your brain go
‘brr’
)
and still adore it
listen to it some more the next day
and the next
and the next
until you know it like the back of your hand,
you could write essays, diatribes, theses about the song
and then wonder why it is
certain songs
bring up
certain time periods of your life
so viscerally