i think my lot in life
is to fight fascism with
art
humanity
and softness
i don’t know how much of an impact i can make
but i can make you think about the fact that i don’t consider
fascists
humans
and perhaps that’s enough to get our brains working on critical thinking once more
contemplating civil unrest
and violence
and propaganda
and slippery slopes
and all the things that my mind is stuck on
daily
alongside the silly things
i have anxiety about
as well
if only my brain could give an indication of
what it actually is anxious about
because, if it’s the very real dangers
that are closer than people would like to admit
[though i will be fair here and give credence to the
systems in place to stop a war from happening, but
the state-sponsored violence is scary enough
already]
then maybe i have a mind that is
realistic
and preparing me
for potential trauma,
but
if it’s just freaked out about the menial
mundane
teeny tiny things
[and i’d actually do ok
in even more “unprecedented times”]
then maybe a medical intervention
to my anxiety is what is needed
at this time
but no, my distress
and obsession
bounce back and forth between
what are very real, but probably far away, fears
and overreacting to daily issues
most folks seem to deal with
mindlessly
i don’t want to lose my ability to be prepared for any eventuality
but, damn, this preparedness is killing me…
why isn’t it more acceptable
to protest with
citizenship?
[i mean, i know why
logistically
but wouldn’t that be an interesting world to live in
if it was actually feasible to do so?]
i never, ever thought i would identify
so strongly with a place
but my heart
leaps
at being called “a New Yorker”
and i can’t help but write
countless poems about
the place
and the people
and the identity
and my heart beats harder
and my anxiety lulls softer
when anywhere that reminds me
of my chosen home
[would i still feel like a New Yorker
if we fled to Paris
for safety?]
while we didn’t fall in love with Lisbon
like we thought we might
we definitely fell in love with Europe
and the fact that people here
seem to be a little bit more functional/
the democracies around here
definitely are more functional
than the shitshow we left
and are now approaching back
and Paris
the surprise contender
from least likely
to most
in our future endeavors
[is it just that we fall in love with
anything
that reminds us of New York?]
[is that the moral of this whole experience?]
kip and i have spent a fair amount of christmases
and new years[es]
in foreign countries
and i
personally
have spent a few july 4ths
far away from the united states
perhaps this could become another tradition
because, damn, i wouldn’t mind
never having to look at another nationalist capitalist display
of red, white, and blue
touting patriotism as a personality
to be sold and bought
at any price
it is very nice
waking up on the fourth
and not being reminded
of our country’s supposed “greatness”
because we are on a whole ‘nother continent
which believes more like we do —
that the united states has done
just about
nothing
to earn the term
great
[or maybe they don’t think about our country much at all
which is, perhaps,
even better]
whenever folks have asked me, lately,
how i’m doing
[as a regular “good morning”/“hello again!” introduction]
i always answer honestly
[because i really can’t not
unless i’m in the midst of going somewhere else
and only have the time for the word “fine”]
i’ve been answering
after a pause
“good? i mean, if i’m not thinking about
the state of the world
and our country
and the eroding rights
that no one in power
seems to be stopping,
yeah, i’m actually, surprisingly, doing well.
but, you know, the minute i think about
anything outside of myself
i fall apart”
and the folks who have asked me
nod in agreement
then sigh and shake their heads in disgust
and we begin a dialogue
about all the terror
located in our nations capital
[and all over]
and while this hostile government takeover/
overt turn into fascism
is actively terrifying and illegal and immoral
it is making it okay
to talk about government abuses
in the day to day,
and be honest
that we shouldn’t actually
be okay,
so i suppose i’ll give it that.
[strangely, does fascism bring us all in
closer to community
because we actively, finally, see
what we all so desperately need?]
faces of power
masking the faceless doing the dirty work
because a soldier could be found guilty
in a tribunal of war crimes
but apparently orange cheetos
and their sidekicks
are never going to face any
consequences
Juneteenth
another day presented
as a celebration
for the rest/
of all of us/
to be free
but was that really what it was meant to be?
it was rebellious states’
slaves
sent on their merry way
(still sans any mule
much less forty whole acres
of stolen land)
but what about border states/
other divided propriety/
when did they
let go
of their ‘human property’
the amendment
that’s the one
that’s the final
say it and done
nope
you know better
you know slavery just got a different name
they called it “policing”
they call it “prison labor”
it’s there in black and white
in the language of the amendment itself
no abolition of slavery
could be 100% savory
in this united states of indecency
and stolen everything/everybody/every body
so let’s observe Juneteenth
not as a day of everyone’s celebration
(no matter what that one banner in that once city implies)
but as our day of learning
repairing
and not
not
not
repeating
the mistakes
of our
[not so far back]
past
ancestors.
kipventures 