May 23, 2022

what is it about
lying next to a cat
that lulls me to sleep
faster
than just forcing myself to bed?

~~~

at least
being in my childhood bedroom
and gazing upon my
most-loved books
has reminded me that
it’s not just in adulthood
that i’ve found comfort in the
already known storyline
and re-consuming media
over and over and over again

(certain copies
of certain books
can attest to the fact that
i consumed them
over
and over
and over again
before i even hit puberty)

~~~

the internet
in this house
is struggling
almost as much as my sinuses
are fighting
to do their job well

(could the dust be blocking the wifi
like it’s blocking my nose???)

November 28, 2021

also
when driving
takes the joy
out of the date of birth
(but time is a mortal construction,
both you and your spouse agree);
celebrating
the next day
is perfectly acceptable
(and even encouraged)

November 27, 2021

is it really
mon anniversaire?
is this really
la date de ma naissance?
it doesn’t feel like it
(nothing feels like anything anymore)
(but maybe it will
when we’re home again)

(after the drive)

November 26, 2021 (part two)

it always seems to be
the most uncomfortable room
that folks congregate into.
the coldest,
without squishy chairs,
(or distractions
from family
from conversation
from time spent together).
and we can’t help it
if
this is the room with the best table
for poetry-writing,
for programming,
and closest to the coffee machine
for an endless supply of
refills,
and the room where there is space
for projects,
for light saber lessons,
and where the view is the sunniest
and most green

November 26, 2021

there’s snow
snow outside
snow out of doors
snow dropping flakes
on my giant winter coat
designed with astronauts in mind
but it still can’t keep me completely warm
in Wisconsin Winters
and Northern Ohio Thanksgivings
and Pennsylvania Stays

but maybe,
just maybe,
when we’re back in New York
(the city)
the weather will be a bit more reasonable
and i can keep warm
and it won’t snow too much
and i can keep being excited about
NYC
instead of dreaming of
far-off
LA
NOLA
Costa Rica
places where my body feels
it was meant to be
(at least in the cold months)

November 25, 2021 (part two)

there are sad firsts:
first thanksgiving without big family
first thanksgiving without talking with my dad at dinner
first thanksgiving spent traveling

and then

there are the fun firsts:
first thanksgiving with Kip’s family
(first time all family and partners in one place at one time)
first thanksgiving solidly baking pies all day
(instead of just treating it like a social get-together)
first thanksgiving learning new traditions
(ones that the rest of the kids know so well they can recite lines from memory
before the muppets even start speaking)

and

first thanksgiving that i’m doing my best
to
appreciate family,
but hold them accountable,
and to remember the root of the ‘first’ ‘thanksgiving,’
and everything/everyone this country is built
on top of.