August 14, 2024

driving past places
i’ve driven past
hundreds of times
and to see so many
unchanged
still there
on that road
made me feel
almost like i’m unchanged
and i’m still the me
from five years ago
living in madison
living for the now
and the potential
to make it as an actor
in nyc

what was i placed on this planet to be?

August 13, 2024

it’s only tuesday
though i feel the week falling away from me
it’s only tuesday
and there are still people i have to see
i have to see
who haven’t yet made plans to see me
it’s only tuesday
and i keep second guessing when to reach out
to other friends
to plan out
how to meet
it’s only tuesday
and madison is a lazy summer town,
a last-minute plans
when plans suddenly line up
and nights are made bright
and lasting memories
sidle up with the present
kind of tiny city
so i need to remind myself
it’s only tuesday
it’s only tuesday

August 12, 2024

the double take of everyone
seeing me at a party full of madison circus folk;
the “ah, yes, hj is here.”
and then
“wait! hj is here!?!”
was delightful
and though i do feel a little guilty
for being less than communicative
about this trip
and planning next to nothing,
i do appreciate
how beautifully the first day
embraced my entrance
with spontaneity
and perfect timing
[and i have a premonition
that the last day will be similar
but with the theatre friends
instead]

[i suppose my advice to anyone
traveling back to a place they once
lived, is to make sure it just so happens
to take place over the time of
important and casual parties
for your former social circles,
because you get to see all the faces
without trying to schedule everyone in

and then maybe, in a week or two, send a
huge thank you card
to the hosts of said parties
because the appreciation that
that all worked out will carry you into
the next
few
years]

March 19, 2024

and now we’re home,
and watching the outside cats
sniff/fight over/eat the food
i set out for them every morning,
and i have cold coffee next to me,
and speakers playing music,
and everything is back to how it should be —
and it almsot feels like this weekend
didn’t even happen
[but this utter exhaustion speaks
for the drive and time awake
and stress and overnights
in not-our-own-bed
and lack of routine
from this past
weekend

i guess it had to have happened]

May 26, 2022

a good trip
a quick one, but
a good trip.
a flight cancelled/stood-by/delayed
but arrived,
chill hangout time,
a birthday celebrated,
weeds pulled up,
min-golf putt-putted,
a bonfire burned,
many movies watched,
and resident foxes identified.

a good trip
a quick one, but
a very good trip.
a chill,
low-key,
relaxed,
un-pressured,
lazy summer day,
Tom Hanks movie-watching,
just spending time with each other
kind of a visit

and it sure seems
that was what
both of us
needed.