November 5, 2024

we already voted
but if you haven’t,
please do

for those too busy working multiple jobs
to put food on the table
for babies they never wanted
but were forced to have

for the trans children living double lives
in states that would rather have them die
than live their full, honest truth
around parents who may, eventually come around
but they don’t yet have that proof

for artists
and freaks
and everything that makes this country
what it is
which may not be great
[but it never was in the first place — we’ve had growing pains
for hundreds of years,
but each pang
is a way
towards equality
and equity
and not going back
please, don’t try to go back,
the future is where it’s at]

we already voted
and for one moment
i felt a slight relief from this anxiety
that has plagued me
for over a year now

so please,
vote for my Grandmama, who died from covid in 2023
[you know, after covid was “over”],
and vote for Palestinians
and the Sudanese
and the immigrants who listened to our statue of liberty
only to be met with hatred and libel,
please
exercise your right
while you still
have it.

July 8, 2024

it’s funny how gender-affirming sparkly nail polish can be
for me
for my estimation of in-between genders/
outside of the binary/
erring towards chaos/
creative/
forgoing gender
for individual
whatever/
in that mode
sparkles
on my nails
feels so
right

March 2, 2024

locking eyes
trans on trains
but it’s more than
‘i see you, you see me too’
it’s the
‘i might know you
from our silly rectangular social boxes’
and lo and behold,
check the algorithm —
there you are
and there i am, not so much sliding
but stumbling into your dms
saying, ‘let’s be friends’
[and blaming my spouse in the process]
and i’m too nervous about awkward connections
to check the reply
just yet

but i do know you have
replied

and i think that’s enough connection
for this socially anxious
ball of rainbows.

[but now the spouse wants to know…]

May 19, 2023

theorizing
contemplating
mind-experimenting

camp
villains
trans
queer-coded
self-determination
everything’s a performance
let’s just have all the fun we can

[and someday tell our own stories
out
loud]

March 31, 2023

i feel so sick
and sick & tired
of Visibility being a trap
instead of the freedom it feels like inside

i cry
and march
and shout
and educate
and give
and sign
and send
and plead
but it will never lead
to anything
if they don’t see us
as worthy

i’m safe
here
in my own Visibility
but i can’t help
but feel
for those in
tennessee
and texas
and arkansas
and mississippi
and south carolina
and virginia
and wyoming
and oklahoma
and washington
and south dakota
and kentucky
and…looking at the maps, i think i could say every state
minus my own home
and it would be true

how can the land of the free
be the land of the only free to be
cis/straight/able-bodied/male
…oh, of course, because that’s how it has always been
and money will always weigh more than
anyone’s life or livelihood

protect Trans kids
protect all kids
because at this point
who knows who gets to be an adult
unless they are literally
a gun.

December 31, 2022

a dreary
rainy
new year’s eve

no big celebration
but maybe that’s what we need

to look at the past
and get excited for the future
and chill in the house with crafts and puzzles

writing reviews
picking poetry
performing
later

as long as i’m with my Kip
i’m happy

[though i’d be extra enthused
if next year we continued
our old tradition
of out-of-the-country travel
for the holiday times]

so long, 2022

[come see me bid farewell to the year with some poetry of my own via Zoom at 7pm Eastern:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-years-eve-they-them-mayhem-tickets-419529813967 ]

December 28, 2022

maybe i
will continue to buy
certain girly styles
just to get the high i get
by giving away the things
i rarely wear
to trans-femmes early in their transitions

gender affirming wear
from gender diverse friends—
giving gives me so many fantastic feels

November 20, 2022

i wrote a snarky poem
for Trans Week of Awareness
telling y’all to be aware of me:
my gender, chaotic
my joy, revolutionary.
and still i talked about our siblings who are silenced
through legislation
through societal constraints
through direct, abhorrent violence–
but for an act so violent
to be what wakes me up
on Trans Day of Remembrance…
it just feels too
too
too too
much

i have no conclusion to this poem

Stop
Killing
Us.