having the resources
to act out,
but not to actually achieve
the help that you need.
having the words to express
exactly what you need,
but still no resources
that actually
help.
society has progressed
somewhat,
but not to the extent that
everyone, everyone needs/deserves/requires.
it is [is it] a viscous cycle
i’m writing
poetry
as warm-up
for maybe something new
something old
something played
something playing
something tragic
something nostalgic
something
i’m going towards
now
i don’t know how to stop my kip
from staring at their phone
reading the terrible news
and feeling worse
and worse
and worse
as the hours go by
because
if left to my own devices
i would stare at my phone
and watch videos of
on the ground tragedies
and feel worse
and worse
and worse
as the hours go by
and neither of us feeling worse
will change the things happening
halfway across the world
or right in our own backyard
we need to fill our cups
and have the hope
and energy
to put forth change
that will help
others
and ourselves
but
how
how
how
when everything feels so important
and hopeless
in the palms of our
hands?
i’m way off to the side
looking in
checking up
half affected by the violence
but only by third and fourth degrees
my close friend’s
daughter’s
friend’s
friend
is in critical condition
my former roommate
went there
decades
ago
i know folks in madison
working directly in schools
part time
they feel the effects
they’ll know the fear
[they’ve already been feeling it
but now it feels more real]
and i’m still over here
way outside the group
fearing for folks
instead of dealing directly
or helping directly
i’m just talking directly
and noticing patterns
and sending my best energy
and wondering how i can be so affected
every time
but it does feel worse
when it’s closer to home,
even a home you no longer go home to
it was
the people still are
and i sat on facebook for the first time in years
just hoping to hear from my people
feeling selfish
and afraid
and still somewhat untouchable
because i’m somehow always
degrees away
from tragedy
myself
and what does it all mean
[i think it means
there’s been a reckoning
and will continue to be
until we are all
closer than
next door to
the gunshots]
kipventures 