leaving my phone in my pocket
in order to experience all the culture coming at me
the dressing
the kissing
the shaving
the hugging
the loving
the familial bonds
and the invitation to observe
felt
so sincere and lovely
and the explanations for why
even more so
learning all the cultural traditions
as we watched
[and listened]
[and eventually joined in]
even the alcohol was more refreshing in Greece
i have never been a christian
and i only really celebrated christmas
when i was young and full of
the influences of my parents
and the hopes and dreams of stuff
provided by santa claus and elves
and eight magic reindeer
(nine if you count the jewish one)
(which i absolutely do, now that i know)
christmas meant a lot more to me
when my family was near
and the holiday was important to them
but it never fully felt like
a religious experience–
it was a family experience
a consumerist experience
a mostly joyful
pretty fraught
pressure-filled
capitalist
kind of
time of
year
and there is something to be said for the coziness it provides
and it is always good to have loved ones by your side
but i never really understood how a holiday
based on stealing pagan celebrations
and not at all the time of year
of the actual birth
of the ‘savior’
could hold so much over so much of the population
but
put into perspective:
these traditions are far older than the oldest known time of christ
so i suppose i can see how that might
influence a whole boatload of the population;
the earth still cycles
and we as residents of the planet feel it
even if we don’t acknowledge that feeling
and
another way:
as the earth cycles
and time is a mortal construction
the celebration of a loved one
need not be on the actual day of an event—
so i could see
a birthday party for little jesus
many months delayed
just to be able to celebrate
when everyone can get together
so i suppose
i’m not as jaded as when
i began this poem
but i started it intending to speak
of new traditions/
experimenting with traditions/
very non-traditional traditions/
but if the point of traditions
is to have loved ones near
(physically or simply
in one’s heart)
i think i’m celebrating
this time of year
pretty darn well.
happy merry to those who celebrate,
and have a wonderful day to those who do not,
and anyone like me
who is still figuring out what to believe
about the malleability of time/tradition/religion/self
i hope you too have
a lovely day
a lovely meal
and some lovely folks
to hold dearly dear
this may be the end of this poem
but is certainly not the end
of this contemplation.
l’chaim!
there are sad firsts:
first thanksgiving without big family
first thanksgiving without talking with my dad at dinner
first thanksgiving spent traveling
and then
there are the fun firsts:
first thanksgiving with Kip’s family
(first time all family and partners in one place at one time)
first thanksgiving solidly baking pies all day
(instead of just treating it like a social get-together)
first thanksgiving learning new traditions
(ones that the rest of the kids know so well they can recite lines from memory
before the muppets even start speaking)
and
first thanksgiving that i’m doing my best
to
appreciate family,
but hold them accountable,
and to remember the root of the ‘first’ ‘thanksgiving,’
and everything/everyone this country is built
on top of.
the parade
the family
the performances
the silly dancing credit cards
the soldering
the excitement
the traveling
the traditions
(new and old)
here i come
here we come
here i go
here
we
go
Family means so much
to so many people
my genetic relatives profess
Family
as the utmost of all people
those who have your back no matter what
the only humans you can truly count on
(most of them still live within a thirty minute drive of each other to this day.)
my friends, my community, unaccepted within their blood kin
find Found Family
to love them
without reservation
without expectation
without conditions
and count on each other
i am lucky enough to have both
blood and non-blood relations
who love me
unconditionally
but that brings with it
division of time
of love
of feelings
of celebrations
(and it is only the Family from birth
who saw me grow as i did
which is sometimes a good thing
and sometimes a not so good thing;
and there are memories,
sometimes lovely
sometimes hard
when in their company)
but
there is an awfully grand sense of growing
when i am able to fully help with the labor
i only ever messed up or ignored
as a child;
and to be able to pass that on to
the children younger than myself…
that feeling, it’s
Indescribable.
kipventures 