sometimes you have to eat
and read
before you can write and wake-up
and sometimes you have to just do the things you have to do
before writing that to-do list
and sometimes you need to look at where you’ve been
before going where you’re going
and sometimes you just have to cuddle your cat and dog
before being human.
to do
October 9, 2021
the stress
is starting to get to me
(even though i know
i’ll probably feel so much better
just writing the damn monologue,
or getting a damn shower,)
but i’m holding out
for…???
to feel actually grungy?
to feel actual inspiration?
i have other things on my to-do list
go through headshots
write to some agencies
actually cut these damn fingernails
but the immediate
is
to make this house
a home
(and turn the apartment home
into just an apartment again)
and everything hurts
and everything’s exhausting
and i’ve split more fingers than i can count
just from the dry air
and yet
i’m actually happy/excited/stoked
for the general month
for the general year
the general life we’re building here
it’s just the immediate
that brings me
multitudes
of
stress.
April 9, 2021
so far, not feeling anything
[re: the ill effects of the vaccination,
except for a small soreness in my upper left shoulder meat]
so the things i vowed to do yesterday
in order to prevent them from adding to my plate today
i can actually get done today.
and yet, adding to the pile of things
that i want to do
but have yet to get done,
still
this is a pretty nice feeling:
the concept of being awake
and ready to take on a day
and do the things that need to be done
instead of avoiding them
or fearing them.
[and i know this may not last.
there are many traps i could still fall in to
and so many things on my plate,
things that i *should* do today…
but still
as of right now
everything feels
kind of…
aligned.]
kipventures 