the universe

December 22, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

it feels
so silly to me
how i can only accomplish chores
when i’m actively avoiding
other
chores

[procrasinactivity
procrasticomplishment
can’t do a task? add a new/more time sensitive one
and watch yourself procrastinate that task
with the original one!]

[so much fun…!]

~~~

i can do it
i can do things
i can do scary scary things
i can do things that seem overwhelming
because, in the end
they tend to be
just things
and this is
just life
it’s all ephemeral
and liminal
and temporary

[what lasts may just be
vibes]

~~~

like, i mean, the vibrations you send out into the universe

i totally meant that
when i first
wrote it

May 21, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

literally
nothing
is set in stone

even stone is ephemeral

everything passes by
the sky wasn’t the sky
before there was a planet to help hold it in
and even the stars have beginnings and endings

so the rules we all have made up
for gender
for money
for even morality
nothing
nothing
nothing
is solid

we are all flowing through —
visitors to reality

let’s treat ourselves like guests
and stop trying to make our rules stick
to a place that will never ever ever have
anything
to stick to

April 17, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

birds
distract
from writing
from trying
to get to know
the inside of my own head

maybe
they’re saying
‘get to know the earth
and the universe
first,
for “you” are just one part
of all’

June 7, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the need to control
to know
to make the flow go
where you want it to
go
can only end in
disaster

you will know what you are in charge of
you will know what you can accomplish and cannot
you will know where your limitations are
where your knowledge leaves off
where your expertise
ends

let other people
know
decide
flounder if floundering is needed
(because sometimes to succeed
the floundering really is what’s needed)
if they are the ones in charge
then they are the ones who should take charge
and you
stay in your lane
merge if merging is asked of you
but only if you
can
do

the rest is left to the universe

August 22, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i am often obsessed
with the temporary temporality of things
having seen what i thought to be permanent
snatched from me in less than a moment
while my eyes were blinking
while i turned away…

i’ve heard a great calmness can come
from seeing where you are
in the “grand scheme” of the universe
and admitting to
the smallness of self.
but for me, it was always about control—
the bigger the universe,
the harder it would be to put my mark on it
and i’ve always admitted to expecting from myself
the impossible.

but just now
i saw my two anxieties
come together in a release:
this home we love
and fill with stuff that does spark joy
is temporary
and someday it will be gone
and our sun will explode
and this planet will become nothingness once more
so it doesn’t really matter
if we put a bunch of mismatched plants around our windows
to give ourselves some tiny fraction of dopamine,
it doesn’t matter if we have
the cleanest house or
the perfect background for tiktoks or not;
whatever brings us joy
in this moment
is all that matters
because it could be gone—
it will be gone eventually—
so this moment
is all that matters
this moment
is all that matters
whatever makes us happy
and enjoy this planet
in this moment
is all that matters

(and if we leave the planet
a little better
a little more sustainable
a little bit happier
for the generations to come,
not only will that give to others,
it will also set
our souls
at ease
far more than the stress of
being a household name
or keeping everything given
or being perfect in anything at all
would
in this moment
in future moments
in any moment.)

August 5, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

if my connection to the universe
shows itself in
gut-feelings
and pre-physical-incident indications

and i can analyze those
to near-death
because i am so damn
analytical

then maybe, if i stop the overthinking
(or at least cut it down
as much as possible)
could my connection show itself
in other ways?

if i’m still getting the connection(s)
at my most evidence-needed/
over-thinking/
super-agnostic/
self,

what would happen if/when
i just
trust?

December 30, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the balance
of yin and yang
(Kip and Kip)
is to have the one
be
stressed out of their mind
working all day
(during vacation)
snappy,
trappy,
not happy,

and the other
enjoying
Repair Shop
and
audiobooks
and leisurely cross-stitching
all damn day…

~~~

went to bed
with an ache
that could have been the universe
reaching into me
to warn me
of something devastating approaching
or
it could have been
empathic absorption
of my spouse’s stress.

(when will i find out which?)

~~~

no,
please don’t eat the chocolate,
or the dog’s food,
or sleep on needles,
or rub yourself all around in cedar spray
or-
-what did i just say about the chocolate?!

[this cat]

September 13, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

mantras and manifestations are weird:
to fully believe them
isn’t necessarily to
fully believe them;
it’s to throw them out into the universe
and trust
trust
trust
that they will come back
(and to trust
trust
trust
that you’ll be there,
fully,
to catch what returns)