this morning’s
morning pages
are especially randomized
and i don’t know if that’s because
there were none yesterday
or if it’s because i’m still half sleepy-state
or if the vibe has been
stale
these last few days/weeks/maybe a month now
but i cannot
cannot
cannot abide by
poetry that doesn’t make me
wonder
at my own psyche.
stale
December 19, 2023
i want something new
something more
than what i have now
or what i had before
but i don’t know in what way
i just know there’s no way
i can do this day-to-day
without at least a teensy bit of
variety
~~~
man, my writing is just
not slapping like it
usually does
this morning
we all have off days
in every aspect of our lives
but why can’t i just decide
when my off days will collide with me?
[that wouldn’t bring nearly as much
self-education as i need…]
~~~
or is it not an off day
for the talent itself?
is it
instead
a perception problem?
is everything i read today
going to suffer from the
stale breadcrumbs of
‘this all sounds exactly the same’?
and
‘nothing brings me joy like it once did’?
and the other melodies of deep dark december
?
January 16, 2022
out of order,
and with a bagel in one hand,
but i’m doing it,
following my dreams and desires
(at least as far as the
morning poetry is concerned)
and the lofi is bumping
(and i can’t stop thinking
of it being labeled
‘millennial smooth jazz’)
and even though i’ve written
at least one poem
over the last three days,
the fact that the posted poems
are older than 72 hours
makes this feel…stale
(and all i really want
is for my plants to be healthy,
so i suppose
i’ll cut this short
in order to care for the greenery,
and just write/just finish/just post this singular/rambly/imperfect
poem
and hope it’s close enough
for jazz
(or for lofi, as the case may be)
August 15, 2021
i keep getting flashbacks
to times on vacation
and driving in a car
and i wonder if that’s when i’m most living in the moment?
do i, [as a sagittarius?] need more variety in order to feel present in the present?
is that why morning poems are starting to feel stale?
is that why i can’t seem to accomplish new things in my little acting closet?
do i just need to add a new element every time?
the stool helped, definitely…
would a visual *something* help too?
would my writing poems to different music
or after food
or on the couch
or something something something else
be *good* for me?
for my constant need for adventure
[in these days, still, of a global phenomenon]
May 28, 2021
big changes ahead
but way far ahead
too far ahead
(will they ever come true ahead)
but i’m usually itching to change
or so fearful it hurts
but right now everything feels…
…
…
…
…shifty
(is that the right word?
i was originally going to go with ‘stale’
but that’s usually what it feels like
when i desire the change,
but ‘content’ isn’t right either,
i’d be happy to change
or happy to stay,
i think it feels like there are things in flux
that i am not yet aware of
that maybe i can follow a path
that is being set for me as of right now
(though
as i write this
i know
i’m stubborn
and contrary
and i’ve never followed a pre-determined path in my life
[except when it comes to recipes]
i don’t know how to align
the alignment
i feel like i need to do more research
into myself)
maybe,
the path that’s being set
is my own?)
(if only…)
kipventures 